Free Waking Beauty by Elyse Friedman Page B

to the mysterious miasma that seemed to lurk behind everything. Occasionally, I would feel, in the pit of my stomach,that I had caught a glimpse of that strange energy—in the frenetic movement of butterfly wings, in the similar movement of pinpoints of sunlight sparkling crazy on lake water. I thought I saw the shadow of it in a birch tree once—the way the wind and the light played on the leaves, the crown seemed to be shimmering and buzzing an electric otherworldly message. I thought I recognized it in art, in the splatter energy of Pollock patterns. And in music, in the architecture of certain compositions, and the way in which certain musicians performed. Like Glenn Gould at the piano, playing as if he were, in fact, the instrument, as if the unknowable thing was flowing through him. Not performing so much as
channeling
.
    And so at that moment, as I gazed upon my miraculous transformation, my childish suspicion was finally, undeniably confirmed. There was something out there. I was not alone. God or some equivalent power existed in the universe. And I, Allison Penny, had been blessed!
    A sharp rattling of the bathroom doorknob interrupted my religious reverie.
    “You in there?” said Virginie.
    Sort of
is what leaped to mind. Hesitant to answer in the alien voice, I flushed the toilet in response. I heard Virginie groan and move off. I sat down to quickly empty my bladder. It was an odd sensation, a familiar pose, but an entirely new bearing. My thighs no longer met in the middle or bulged over the sides of the seat. My stomach was now totally flat, and for the first time in memory I could watch myself urinate. I’m not ashamed to say that it was a lovely sight. My vagina was a tight little cleft fringed with soft curls. I dried it tenderly and donned my robe. Then I pinched Virginie’s antique hand mirror and was making a quick dash through the kitchen to my room, when I heard a voice behind me: “Hello?”
    I had been spotted, but I didn’t stop. I ducked into my room and closed the door, hoping that Virginie would just proceed to the damned bathroom and leave me the hellalone. But no, a second later she was tapping at my door with her fingernails.
Tap tap tap
.
    “Just a minute…” I hid her mirror under the blanket, gathered my wits, and opened up. I stood in the doorway so she wouldn’t come in. “Hi,” I said, going on the offensive. “You must be Virginie.”
    “Who are you?” she said.
    “Me? I’m a friend of Allison’s.”
    She looked confused. Could Allison have a friend? Perhaps. But such a beautiful friend? Doubtful. “Where is Allison?” she asked, peering past me into the bedroom.
    “Um, she’s not here,” I said, trying not to smirk. It felt strange to be talking about myself in the third person. “She had to go away for a few days. She said I could stay here while she’s gone.”
    “Oh, really?”
    “Is that a problem?”
    “I don’t know. This is the first I’ve heard of it.”
    “Well, she had to leave kind of suddenly. Early this morning. Her father’s been having some medical trouble. Heart trouble. She had to fly to Los Angeles.”
    “Her father lives in Los Angeles?”
    “Didn’t you know that?” The stupid cow never listened to a word I said. Fine. It would be easier to fake her out.
    “I can’t remember. So you got here when?”
    “Middle of the night, actually. My plane was delayed for six hours. What a nightmare. And then as soon as I get here, I find out that Allison has to leave. Oh, well, I guess I’ll see her when she gets back. She’s great, isn’t she?” I couldn’t resist tossing that one in there.
    “Yeah. Um, how do you know her again?”
    “We were best friends growing up. She must have mentioned that I was coming.” It felt odd to be looking down on Virginie. She seemed stubby all of a sudden.
    “I dunno. Maybe she did. I haven’t had coffee yet.” She rubbed her eyes and forehead. It was all too much for her.
    “Anyway, I’m glad