Free Rag Doll by Ava Catori Page B

some time for yourself. You seem lost.”
    She hung her head, and whispered, “Stavros, I think I’m broken.”
    He nodded in understanding. “It hurts to feel things sometimes, no?”
    “Yes.”
    “You go. Do something for yourself. I’ll see you back here tomorrow.”
    Kendle left the truck stop, and headed to her sister’s embankment under the overpass. She was curled up sleeping in her blanket. Kendle tucked in beside her and curled up.
    Cree stirred. “Kendle?”
    “Yeah.”
    “What’s going on?”
    Kendle sighed. “I’m afraid of healing.”
    “Are you ready?”
    “I want to be. What about you?”
    Cree shrugged. “I don’t know if I can heal.”
    “I’m afraid I’m going to lose myself.” Kendle’s voice was flat.
    “Do you want to get better?”
    “Yeah. What about you?”
    “Honestly? Sometimes, but I’m afraid if I look at my emotions, I’ll break and won’t be able to function.”
    “Will you try?” Kendle hoped her sister would at least try.
    “Maybe soon, not quite yet. It’s easier this way.”
    “I slept with him,” Kendle admitted quietly.
    “Who? The picture guy?”
    Kendle nodded. “Yeah, we made a deal.”
    “Just like old times, eh?” Cree nudged sarcastically.
    “He kicked me out after.”
    “Ouch. Why?”
    “I think he knew I was cold inside. It hurt his feelings,” she said with a shrug.
    Cree didn’t like that answer. “You held your end of the bargain if you made a deal.”
    “He wanted all of me, not just my body. I can’t open up. He wants more than I can give him.”
    “See, you don’t want to feel things either.” She felt triumphant in some small way.
    “It’s not the same, and you know it,” Kendle said defensively.
    Cree tried once again to explain how she felt to her sister. “I hate him, okay? I hate the monster. I am so afraid that if I let even the slightest bit of light in, I’ll crack. You want me to heal, and I’m terrified of healing. It’s easier to be angry than feel the pain.”
    “I get that, truly I do. I just don’t want to be chained to the past forever.” Kendle closed her eyes, frustrated.
    Cree looked away. “You’re stronger than I am. You always have been. I wouldn’t have left if it weren’t for you, even knowing he’d continue. I was afraid. Now I’m afraid of my own shadow, but I’m glad we left.”
    “This isn’t what I planned. I didn’t think we’d be here years later. I just wanted to get out. I thought it would be easier,” Kendle admitted.
    “You wanted to protect me, I get that. You pulled me out the moment you knew. You did okay.”
    “You’re still out here, sleeping under an overpass. That’s not doing okay. I’m barely surviving in a motel room, and you don’t want to come inside.”
    “Go back to your picture guy. Apologize. He’s your shot at a better future. It sounds like he had some kind of feelings or something.”
    Kendle felt lost. “He’ll know I’m lying if I say I feel something.”
    “Tell him you want to try. You just need a little time.”
    “I should go. You need to sleep.” Kendle pressed her palms to her thighs and sighed.
    “I’ll come by for a hot shower later, okay? I’ll talk to you then.”
    “Room twelve now, remember I moved.”
    “Twelve. I’ll see you later.” Cree closed her eyes, and drifted back to sleep.

Chapter 13
    Kendle twisted in her sheets. It was dark, he was on top of her, and when the light hit his face it was Graham. Kendle bolted upright, sweating, trying to catch her breath. It was just a dream. Kendle clenched her hands, holding tight to the sheet. How could she trust him? He’d hurt and betray her, just like her father had.
    It wasn’t just her father. It was men. They’d hurt her if she gave them a chance. They’d use her for their own needs and throw her away. Kendle threw her head back onto her pillow. She tried turning to her side, drawing her knees up, but the ache inside wouldn’t diminish.
    Stavros was the only one