Free The Search for Kä by Randall Garrett

was dark in here when you came in—I knew Thymas was in your room. I closed the shutters to avoid eavesdropping.”
    â€œWhy do you tell me this now?” she asked.
    â€œBecause of my promise—to be honest with you whenever possible. I came in here arguing with myself and fighting jealousy. I reminded myself that the last time I jumped to a conclusion—when I saw you kiss Thymas goodbye in Stomestad—I landed flat on my face.”
    She laced her fingers together behind my neck. “Would you have told me this,” she asked, “if I had not mentioned Thymas? After all, this fine dress
might
have been Shola’s.”
    â€œI would have told you anyway,” I assured her. “I can’t seem to help feeling jealous of Thymas and suspicious of his motives whenever he’s around you. I want you to know that I have those feelings—and that I
am
learning to control them. This time, I didn’t jump to any conclusions.”
    â€œOh, but you did,” she said, smiling. “You assumed he was inside my room, did you not?” I nodded. “He came to my
window.
“
    It was a small point, since Tarani’s window was like mine—knee-low and ceiling-high, and plenty wide enough for Thymas to
step
through, had he wished. But in Gandalara, as in the world Ricardo had known, there are different degrees of privacy. A man and a woman talking together in full view of any passerby—whether or not anyone was, at that particular moment, passing by—was less suggestive of intimacy than that same couple holding their conversation enclosed within the walls of a room.
    It made enough difference to me that I blurted out an admission that I had checked for the more welcome possibility. “But—when I closed my shutters, I didn’t see … Oh.”
    â€œI see you remember that my room is at the corner of the house, and has
two
windows. And there is another item of information you do not have,” she said. “The gift of the dress was second priority for Thymas. He told me that he had come to talk with you, but that you were not in your room.”
    â€œTo me? Did he say what he wanted to talk about?”
    â€œNo. And I did offer to bring you a message. He is … different, Rikardon. There is a sadness in him, and little of the easy friendship we once shared. He seemed uncomfortable while we talked.” She sighed. “Has Thagorn changed so much, Captain, or is it we who have changed?”
    â€œThe
world
is changing, remember?” I said. “Otherwise, would there be a female sha’um in Thagorn? How is Yayshah, by the way?”
    â€œRather cranky, I fear. Her mind is seeking a lair that her instincts will accept, but so far she has not achieved that compromise. The terrain in Thagorn is very different from what she knew in the Valley. And, unlike Keeshah, the Valley is all she has known. She will settle down in time.”
    â€œThe cubs? Do you have any closer idea of when they are due?”
    She shook her head. “There is no pain, only a heaviness that grows, day by day. I cannot say.” She pulled me close and put her head on my shoulder. “It is not only Yayshah’s relief I feel in being here, Rikardon. I am weary of traveling. I welcome the chance merely to be still for a time. I could wish for only one thing more—that we be accepted as friends here, and not—”
    She broke off and pulled back suddenly.
    â€œThat is the difference I sensed in Thymas,” she said, her eyes sad. “Distance. Almost a shyness. Courtesy with an undertone of fear, not at all the simple respect of one person for another.”
    â€œThe respect of a follower for a leader,” I said gently.
    â€œBecause he thinks of me, now, as yours? The Captain’s woman?”
    I almost laughed, but I could see Tarani was hurting. I had learned this lesson weeks ago, when I had swung violently between my