Free Barefoot Dogs by Antonio Ruiz-Camacho Page B

back and said, ‘Don’t worry, son. Your old man asked me to take care of you.’ ”
    “Oh. My. God.”
    “A girl picked me up at the table and took me to a private room. I kind of wanted to like it, you know? But when she got naked and started to do her thing, I felt so uncomfortable and disgusted, I thought I was going to barf. I told her that I wasn’t really in the mood, and asked if she didn’t mind that we stayed there for a while so everybody would think we had a good time.”
    • • •
    “Homero?”
    “Yes, chimp.”
    “Do you know how much I admire you?”
    “You’re high, dude. Try to get some sleep.”
    • • •
    “Homero?”
    “Uh-oh. She’s still alive. Those damn pills didn’t work after all.”
    “What part of your body do you like the most?”
    “Whoa. She’s alive and asking brilliant questions. My fists, I guess.”
    “Really? Why?”
    “I don’t know. I clench my hands into fists and they look like someone else’s. You?”
    “They’re there. The rats. Do you hear them?”
    “Yeah, I do. Answer me.”
    “Let me think of a feminine version of your fists. My earlobes ?”
    “Does it hurt, to pierce your ears?”
    “Only if you think about it.”
    • • •
    “Those fucking rats are there again, Homero. What are we gonna do about them?”
    “There’s nothing we can do about them, chimp.”
    “Shouldn’t we try something ?”
    “We should get wings. We should get a couple tattoos at one of those parlors on St. Mark’s. Something sick . Mom and Dad will freak out. They’ll think we’ve become fucking Maras when they see us.”
    “It’s not funny, Homero. What if the neighbor was right? What if those fucking rats find their way through, and get to us? Are we just gonna sit here and do nothing ? I’m serious, man.”
    “I am too. We’re taking over Manhattan, chimp, like the fucking Muppets. Those pussy rats are getting owned. We’re getting tattoos. Tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Big ones. Across our backs. A fucking thousand badass wings sticking out of our spines, reaching for the goddamn sky.”

DEERS
    When I got to work that morning there were a bunch of police cars and fire trucks and vans from TV outside the McDonald’s, and my shift mates were there too, behind a yellow tape that read AUSTIN POLICE DEPARTMENT DO NOT TRESPASS, trying to get a peek of what was going on inside, including Conchita; she was on her toes because she was short like me, and when I tapped on her shoulder she turned and shrieked, “Susy girl!” and we hugged real tight, and she said, “Susy girl, you’re not gonna believe what’s happening inside,” and I said, “Conchita, what’s going on?” really worried because, you know, when I saw those police cars, those cops around, I thought, This can’t be good, this is trouble, I started thinking, I probably should go home and start looking for another job, but Conchita already knew how to read me; she already knew about my fears so she looked into my eyes, grabbed my arm, and whispered, “Relax, Susy girl, it’s not what you’re thinking,” and I just smiled, still nervous, though, because I get nervous every time cops are around, but also relieved because I trusted Conchita and I knew that if she said, “Relax,” I could, things would be okay; she’d earned my trust afew months before, the day there was a raid at my apartment complex and Conchita heard about it on the radio on her way to work, and when she saw me walk into the restaurant the next day she ran to me and hugged me tight and stroked my hair like she was my mother or something, and whispered in my ear, “I was so worried for you, Susy girl,” and she looked so relieved that it got me thinking, One of these days I’ll run out of luck and perhaps Conchita won’t see me come to work the next day, and then I thought of my little ones, my Pedro and my Santiago and my Adrián, I wondered who’d call them back in Cuévano to let them know their