two beings who were not really two, but one.
I understand
, came the response, but not even in words, not anymore. The Bynar and the sentient ship had surpassed such clumsy methods of communication now that they trusted one another. Steeling himself for the fresh wave of pain, 110 relived 111âs death. The emptiness, the aching, the repeated, increasingly frantic queries to a mind that was already gone. Oh, yes, he knew loss such as Friend had experienced.
Friendâs agony washed through 110, and the Bynar experienced it as if it were his own. He swam upward, drowning in the linkage, long enough to press the button on the tricorder. He forced his eyes open. He would have to watch Jaldarkâs logs for the second time. Through the link they had established, Friend would then also see them. He would see, and believe.
So much information coursing through his brain, along his artificial nerves! Jaldarkâs childish face appeared on the screen, saying words that pierced both vessel and Bynar.
I love sharing things with Friend ⦠I love it when we linkup and Iâve got the whole shipâs sensors at my handsâ¦. Tobe able to experience so many things that, as an organic being,Iâd never otherwise know is indescribable. And he is so close to me when weâre joined. Iâve never known anything like it ⦠Heâs really sensitive to my happiness. Itâs nice to have things like that matter to someone else so muchâ¦. I tried to explain to Friend about how great it feels to walk on soft grass in your bare feet, but he didnât quite get it, I thinkâ¦.
She was wrong
, came Friendâs thoughts.
Through her, I knew. I knew everything
â¦.
It was the most amazing sensation, to be linked with him ⦠I just love Friend so much. Heâs the most wonderful ship. Iâm so glad Iâm bonded with him for the rest of my lifeâ¦. I guess Iâm just the luckiest girl in the universeâ¦. Somethingâs wrong ⦠Friend can sense it, but Iâm not telling him any more than I have to in order to maintain function. I donât know that weâll make it in time. I hate lying to him like this.
110 had thought the shipâs pain difficult to deal with, but the raw rage almost stopped his heart.
Why did she not tell me? There were things I could have done, systems I could have shut down, that would have made us much more efficient!
She did not wish to burden you with her fears and pain
, 110 replied.
We were
joined!
I was supposed to share her fears and pain!
But Jaldark had been a humanoid, and augmented and technologically enhanced as she was, she remained a humanoid. She didnât understand that Friend would have been more comforted had she confided in him. Perhaps she would have learned this, as she grew older. But perhaps that wisdom might also have made her less compassionate, and she would not have disabled the ship so that it could not self-destruct.
I think itâs the implants ⦠theyâre failing somehow. I canât get sustenance from Friend anymoreâ¦. I have these terrible headaches. And the arm sheathes ⦠whenever we join, Iâm in a lot of pain. So, of course, I come up with excuses not to join as often. Friend hasnât said anything much, but I know his feelings are hurt. Heâs the last personâwell, thingâIâd ever want to hurt, and I just hate it that this is happening!
The ship could not form coherent thoughts anymore, but 110 did not need it to. For the first time since 111âs death, he let his own grief surface. In the bonding, they were more than two. Now that she was dead, 110 felt as though he was less than one. She had taken so much of him with her when she died.
I donât think I have much longer. The pain is so bad I can hardly stand it. I think Iâm going to die. But I can handle that. Itâs Friend Iâm worried about. Heâs supposed to autodestruct if
Sharon Kleve, Jennifer Conner, Danica Winters, Casey Dawes