Free Star Trek by Christie Golden Page B

unfortunate Jaldark, in the same position, 110 realized that he very much wanted to live.
    I can help you
, sent Friend, with a sudden sense of urgency.
I can enable you to make the transition. You could help me by becoming my new pilot. You understand. And … I could help you, too, because I understand
.
    The pain in his head increased. 110 wondered if all Starsearchers were this compassionate. He understood now why destroying Friend had been anathema to Jaldark. And, oh, it was appealing, wasn’t it? It was the perfect solution. He would not be alone, and yet he would not dishonor the memory of all he had shared with 111 by so quickly selecting another mate. And poor Friend desperatelyneeded him. He was right. They could help one another. Heal one another.
    It was ideal. And it was too easy.
    Friend sensed his rejection before 110 even had a chance to phrase it. He hurried to explain his reasoning.
    Jaldark said you had to be brave. She said everyone thought that the Starsearchers couldn’t function without a pilot. But you proved them wrong. Look at you right now, interfacing with a completely alien species. You’re making ethical judgements. You can be an individual. As … as I can be. If we are both brave enough.
    But what is a ship without a pilot? I serve no useful purpose.
    The pain was increasing. Morbidly, he wondered if the same white-hot agony that was racking his body was what Jaldark had undergone. He had to transport out and have the implants removed before they caused permanent damage. But he didn’t want to leave, not yet. 110 willed himself to hang on for just a little while longer.
    That is a false conclusion, arrived at by incorrectly analyzing the data. You could help to complete the mission upon which you and Jaldark had embarked. If you will let the Federation help you, they can assist your people in searching for an undeveloped world to colonize.
    In reply, 110 received such a violent jolt of fear and loathing that he almost passed out from the force of it.
Other races hate us! They tried to kill us!
    But
I
don’t hate you
, 110 thought.
The Omearans haveencountered only a few other alien races. There are thousands in this quadrant alone, and every race is different. Many of them have joined the United Federation of Planets, for their mutual benefit. I know my captain wants to assist you, and—once he knows what it is you are seeking—help the Omearansas well. You must be able to sense my sincerity.
    Yes
. The ship’s reply was slow, halting. 110 supposed he couldn’t blame Friend for his suspicions. But the pain was worsening. He needed a decision now.
    Friend, the implants are hurting me. I must leave you.
    No, please, please stay, just a while longer….
    I cannot. While it is right and appropriate for us to mourn our lost bondmates, we must continue. Alone. We have tasks to perform, things that only we can do. Things that our bondmates would want us to do.
    I … I understand. I will do what Jaldark wanted me to.I will be brave.
    Right before the darkness claimed him, 110 knew in his heart that both 111 and Jaldark would be proud of their decisions.

    â€œWelcome back,” came the kind voice of Emmett.
    110 blinked. “You beamed me out in time,” he said. It was a statement, not a question.
    â€œAnd only just,” came Captain Gold’s booming voice. His face moved into 110’s line of vision. “What were you thinking? You were supposed to come back the minute the implants started to hurt. You could have died down there!”
    110 smiled softly. No. Friend would not have let him. None of his friends would have let him die. Another time, another place, yes—one day, he would die.
    But it would not be today.
    â€œSo,” said Gold, his anger diminishing, “what happened with the little Bynar and the great big ship?”
    â€œWhat is Friend doing now?” countered 110.
    â€œSitting quietly in space. It