Free Nikki's Heart by Nona j. Moss

dad’s house? Can she even do that?
    I finally just walked out when Mandi pulled into the driveway. I prayed all the way to Mandi’s van that she wouldn’t come after me. She was in a mean mood, and lately I don’t put anything past her.
    I have turned my cell phone off. I left it on my bed while I had dinner and played with Jaren and Jena. My mom had called seventeen times.
    I made a date with Mandi for lunch tomorrow. I am going to ask her about moving in here. I want to make sure she is okay with it before I ask my dad. She is the one who runs the house, after all.
     
    February 13
    I got the okay from Mandi. Well actually it was more than an okay. She is very excited about it. She said she has been waiting a long time for me to ask that.
    I told her my mom has been drinking too much, and it is making me uncomfortable. I didn’t mention the DTs, how could I? You just don’t go round telling everyone your mom is seeing dead people.
    Mandi being the way she is, though, didn’t need any explanations. She just believes I am making the right decisions and offers to help if she can.
    We talked to Dad after we put the twins to bed tonight. He said I am welcome to stay as long as I want. He also said if my mom had any problems with it, he would take care of it.
    I hope it doesn’t come down to that.
     
    February 18
    It has been a whirlwind of a week around here. I can’t believe I haven’t even had time to write in here.
    I went to Mom’s Monday afternoon and packed some of my things. Mom was there, and of course she was drunk. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I had to be sneaky. It took me almost an hour to get to my room. I played her stupid game and pretended I was happy to be home. If I had acted any other way, it would have caused a fight.
    When I finally made it to my room, I packed as fast as possible. I couldn’t lock the door, because that would make her suspicious. Instead, I kept one ear pointed toward the door at all times. I was prepared to stuff my suitcase under the bed if she came down the hall.
    Thankfully I didn’t get caught. She ended up passing out around eight o’clock. I called Cody and slipped out of my bedroom window. When he got there, I was sitting on my suitcases in the driveway.
    Mom called Tuesday night on my cell phone. She was beyond furious when I told her I was staying with Dad for a while. She ranted and raved, moaned and groaned, and finally told me I wasn’t allowed to go back. Then she hung up on me.
    She called me every day this week. One minute she wants me to move back in, and the next minute she wants me to get the rest of my stuff out of her house.
    I told her I wouldn’t be back until she got help. That really ticked her off. She said I was being a selfish little bitch and hung up the phone. I don’t care what she calls me, though; I can’t live with her like that anymore.
    Trish was right; I’m not safe over there. What would I do if my mom totally wigged out on me? Who would be there to help me? She could probably seriously hurt me when she is drunk.
    I guess the big question is whether this will work or not. Will she sober up because she wants me to come home? Or will she end up hurting herself? I am afraid to guess.
    I am afraid of a lot of things lately. I am afraid to turn my phone off, but at the same time I am afraid when it rings. I am worried that if I fall asleep, someone will wake me up and tell me my mother is dead. I am also worried no one will be able to find me if something does happen.
    I thought it would be much easier here. I thought would be able to sleep at night. I was so sure I would get my life back.
    I was so wrong.
     
    February 23
    Mandi has decided it’s time for me to get my driver’s license. She even has my dad looking for cars. She said I would be happier if I could drive myself around. She is taking me on Friday, and I have been pouring over the driver’s manual.
    I have to give Mandi credit; she really does try to make things