Free Elvis And The Memphis Mambo Murders by Peggy Webb Page B

but he’s in a hurry. I guess herding a bunch of moronic ducks around not only builds a big appetite, it gives you tunnel vision.
    We wait till we hear the door down the hall slam shut, then we charge up the stairs. Let me tell you, charging for four floors is no picnic.
    â€œI’ve got dibs on the bathroom.” Lovie dives in without waiting to see if anybody has a bigger need.
    â€œMake it snappy,” Callie says. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
    What does she mean? Back in a minute?
    I’m not long in finding out. Before I can say pass the Pup-Peroni , she’s hustled me up to the tenth floor and asked Ruby Nell to watch Elvis for a while.
    Watch Elvis, my crooked hind leg. Who does she think did all the work this morning? But do I get any thanks for it, any gold medals, any fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches?
    All I get is a lousy pat on the head and the admonition to be a good boy.
    If she thinks I’m going to behave while she runs off and has all the fun, she’s got another think coming. I’m fixing to break out of this joint and head to Graceland where folks appreciate a dog of my iconic status.

Chapter 8
Maids, Mayhem, and Faux Fox Furs
    W hen I get to her room, Mama’s on the phone with Uncle Charlie, saying, “Everything’s great and everybody’s having a big time.”
    Apparently he buys it because she laughs at something he says, then tells him goodbye.
    â€œDoesn’t Uncle Charlie know about the murders?”
    Gloria Divine’s demise won’t make the news till tonight, but I’m surprised he hasn’t already heard about Babs Mabry Mims being pushed off the roof.
    â€œSometimes he falls asleep during the news. Charlie’s getting old.”
    â€œDon’t say that, Mama.”
    â€œWell, he is.”
    â€œYou’re practically the same age.”
    â€œYes, but I put Preparation H on my wrinkles.”
    â€œHoly cow, Mama. That’s for hemorrhoids.”
    â€œIf it can shrink them, it can shrink anything.”
    On that shocking beauty note, I inquire if she’ll keep Elvis for a little while. Naturally Mama is full of questions I don’t want to answer.
    â€œWhere are you going?”
    â€œI can’t tell you, Mama. Can you keep him or do you and Mr. Whitenton have other plans?”
    â€œFor your information, he’s resting, and so am I.”
    I hope they’re not planning to rest together, but judging by her sexy silk lounging outfit, I’m not too sure.
    â€œDon’t give me that look, Callie. Of course I can keep him. But I don’t see why you can’t tell me what you’re planning to do.”
    â€œJust trust me. Okay?”
    â€œWhat’s such a secret you can’t tell your own mother, who gave birth the hard way?”
    I’d ask her what that means, but I don’t have time. It could mean I’m facing a tough time if I ever get pregnant, but knowing Mama, it probably means she’s just being dramatic.
    â€œGotta go, Mama.” I kiss her cheek. “Bye Elvis. Be a good boy.”
    Elvis looks none too pleased at being left behind, but I can’t help that. If I’d known this girls’ getaway would turn into murder, I’d have left him home.
    When I get back to our room, the TV is running full blast and Lovie is in the shower with the water faucets going wide open. I go into the bathroom and knock on the shower door. She jumps and says a word that causes a sonic boom.
    â€œHurry up, Lovie. We’ve got to go.”
    â€œOkay, okay. I’m coming.”
    Much as I’d love a good long soak in a hot tub, I barely have time for a swipe with a damp washcloth. The only good thing I can say about my spit bath is that at least I’m not planning to get close to anybody. Translated, that’s Champ and Jack, especially Jack.
    As a matter of fact, I’ve made up my mind: I’m not having sex with him again even