Free Saving My Submission BN by Jenna Jacob

wasn’t a Master, he was a
     fake, and you were a fool to believe his lies. Even as I tried to
     convince myself the submission I’d experienced was a farce, I couldn’t deny the
     contentment yielding had brought to my soul. I couldn’t rationalize away how
     utterly complete I’d been beneath the command of a Dom. Even one who was a son
     of a bitch and had little regard for a collar. Master wasn’t all bad. There
     were moments when his command had been simply divine, and something special
     blossomed inside me…or at least I’d thought so at the time.
    I missed my submission. Even admitting there was a
     missing part inside me, I knew I could never allow myself to sink back to such
     a vulnerable position again. It would be emotional suicide. I had to drive away
     the beguiling memories—slam the lid down tight, and seal them away—fast. This
     was definitely not the time or place to toss my yearnings into some emotional
     blender and start whipping up dysfunctional submissive smoothies.
    Opening my eyes, I had every intention of suppressing
     my inner submissive, but all that was shot to hell the instant I gazed at the
     imploring expression on the figurine’s face. I’d been that woman… Haunted by the same compulsion to please reflecting on her
     beautifully etched face. Yearning for that fulfillment sliced deep,
     opened me up with a raw and unforgiving blade.
    No matter how desperately I wanted to deny it,
     Joshua’s mannerisms conveyed his Dominance. I’d have to be deaf, dumb, and
     blind not to notice. Like a slippery eel, apprehension slithered within. I’d
     successfully hidden my real desires when he’d questioned me about my reaction
     to the statue. But what if he got past my defenses? Would he expect me to kneel
     at his feet… hand over my control so he could mold me into a perfect statue?
     Then what? Dangle me like a puppet until a younger, inexperienced submissive
     blipped his radar? How long would it be until he snipped the threads and set me
     free, only to sink his talented hands into the flesh of another to sculpt and
     mold her into a flawless sub?
    No more champagne for
     you, chicky . You’ve known the man a whole five
     minutes. If he expects you to hand over your control without trust, he’s
     nothing but another big fat fucking player. Besides, none of it matters. All
     you’re going to do is have a nice hot tumble in the sack with him. That’s it.
     No Dom/sub nothing! So get a grip and for the love of god, stop torturing
     yourself by looking at the damn sculpture!
    Snapping my head up, I found Joshua staring at me with
     a gaze so intent I suddenly worried that I’d let my mask slip. My cheeks grew
     warm and began to mentally draw up my crumbling shield. My only saving grace
     was that the man couldn’t read my mind. Quickly pulling bold and brazen Mellie
     to the surface, I flashed him a seductive smile. I had no intention of letting
     him see how quickly he unraveled me.
    Seduction, not submission.
    Joshua inched closer toward me, never missing a beat
     of conversation with the crowd of people pressing in around him. Hyper aware
     that his methodical movements were aimed in my direction, the room felt hotter.
     My nipples ached and my pussy wept and all I could think about was having him
     put out the five-alarm fire he ignited within me.
    I couldn’t stop staring at the curve of his lips or
     the memory of how his fervent kiss had possessed me. Watching the unconscious
     sweep of his hands as he talked, I studied each long finger before dropping my
     gaze to his feet. I couldn’t help it, I was curious. I’d spent enough
     horizontal time in the sheets to know the old adage; big hands, big feet… big cock was true, and
     Joshua Lars had a massive cock hidden beneath his pants. My palms itched to
     caress, grip, and stroke it to life. Subconsciously, I slid my tongue over my
     teeth, hungry for a taste.
    “You must be extremely proud.” A deep-voiced man