Qaletaqa
my
forehead close enough to touch hers, she let her hands slide down
to my cheeks. My tears rolled over her fingertips. “I had to do it
to save myself.”
    Those words ripped through me. My hands
gripped Claire’s and tore her soft fingers from my face. I dropped
her arms, my heavy footsteps taking me to the window before I
rounded on her. My sharp breathing had my chest pumping in and out.
Claire took a hesitant step toward me. I wanted to run from her. I
couldn’t stand to see the pain etched on her features, the pain I
put there.
    “Uriah, it’s okay,” Claire said. She reached
out her hand to me, but didn’t come any closer.
    I closed the distance between us and grabbed
her hand. Shoving her sleeve back, I said, “This is not okay,
Claire! This is my fault. I did this to you.” I wanted to beg her
forgiveness, scar my own body if it would make any difference, but
I knew it would never be enough. Nothing I could do would ever be
enough.
    Claire’s lips thinned into a dark line. She
ripped her arm from my grip and stared at me. The fire in her eyes
and angry set of her jaw startled me. With two swift motions, she
yanked both sleeves up and bared her battered arms. My body refused
to bear up the weight of my guilt and I sunk down to my knees.
Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to look away. I had to face
what I’d done to her.
    “Yes, this is your fault,” Claire said. “Is
that what you want me to say? Fine, feel guilty all you want,
Uriah.”
    I stared up at her.
    “Yeah, you left me behind. That was stupid,
okay? I couldn’t believe you actually left me there to fend for
myself,” Claire said. “Why would you think I would survive any
better without you there to help me? You were wrong. It was
horrible. I cried every night, and most of the days too. The desire
to run after Daniel was so strong that it physically hurt me not to
go to him. I was desperate to find anything that reminded me of
you.”
    Claire pulled at the shirt she was wearing.
“I wore your clothes and listened to your music, touched everything
in your room,” she said. Taking something from her back pocket, she
threw it into my lap.
    I picked up the delicate paper star and
stared at the inscription she had written on it so long ago. You
are my light in the dark . It was one more reminder of how I had
failed her. I put my other hand over the star and force my gaze
back to Claire.
    “I was desperate to feel some part of you,
just to convince myself that you would come back for me. Every day
the bond grew stronger, trying to break me, but I fought back. You
see these cuts and bruises, and you see your failure, but I see
them and see my strength. This,” she said, holding her arms up and
forcing me to look at them, “is what I was willing to do to keep my
love for you.”
    My shoulders slumped forward. I dropped my
head and let it hang down, staring at my empty hands. She was
alone, cutting her soft skin and beating it until dark purple and
scarlet left their telling marks while I had been hundreds of miles
away. How could she ever forgive me for abandoning her when she
needed me most?
    Claire sighed. Quietly, she knelt in front of
me and placed her hands in mine. “Yes, it would have been easier if
you had been there, but you weren’t. You thought you were doing
what was right. I understand that. I think you were an idiot for
doing it,” she said, a soft smile creeping onto her lips, “but I
understand why you did. And I forgive you.”
    The hope in my heart lifted my gaze to meets
Claire’s. “How can you forgive me after everything I put you
through?”
    “When you were gone, it was the first time
since that day on the riverbank, maybe in my entire life, that I
was forced to rely on my own strength. You have always been there
to keep me calm, or hold me up when I felt too overwhelmed to even
find my footing. I relied on you too much. Facing the bond made me
search for my own strength for once, and I found it,” Claire

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