Free Winter of Grace by Kate Constable Page A

damaged. He might lose the sight completely.’
    â€˜Oh, God!’ Then I realised what I’d said. ‘I mean—’
    â€˜It’s okay.’ Elliot scowled across the room. ‘That’s what I’ve been saying, too. How could God let this happen? To Jay, of all people.’
    â€˜But he seems so …’
    â€˜Oh, he’s amazing. He’s very forgiving. Much more forgiving than me.’ Elliot gave a savage laugh. His gaze roamed around the basement full of happy, excited, young people who could see perfectly, and he looked as though he hated them all. He said quietly, ‘I could kill those bastards. And I’m angry with God, for letting them do this to him.’
    â€˜Well, that’s totally understandable …’
    â€˜The worst thing is, it’s my fault. I should have been there taking care of him.’ Elliot’s voice was low and bitter, and suddenly he looked back at me. ‘I shouldn’t be telling you all this. Sorry. That’s not why you came here.’
    I heard myself say, ‘Maybe it is.’
    And then Jay was bumping my elbow with two hot chocolates and some cake on a plate. When I turned back, Elliot had vanished into the crowd.
    â€˜Elliot told me about your eye. I’m really sorry,’ I said awkwardly.
    He smiled ruefully. ‘Yeah, it’s a bummer. But I’m not giving up hope. Everyone’s praying for me.’
    He said it in such a matter-of-fact way. Prayer and the Bible were just an ordinary part of his life, the way, I dunno, talking about politics was part of mine. I remembered Mish saying that she believed in the power of prayer, even if she wasn’t sure there was anyone to listen.
    I said, ‘Should I pray for you, too?’
    â€˜Thanks,’ said Jay. He touched my hand. ‘That’d mean a lot to me.’
    I felt my face burn. ‘I’m … I’m not sure I believe in God, though.’
    Jay looked at me, and the rest of the room, all the noise and talk and laughter, seemed to fall away. He said softly, ‘Then what are you doing here, Bridie?’
    I whispered, ‘I’m not sure.’
    Jay’s hand tightened around mine, and he bowed his head.
    â€˜Almighty Father.’ It took me a second to realise what he was doing. ‘We thank you for the many gifts you have given us, for good friends and for the grace of your love.’ All around us, conversation hushed, people fell silent, heads dropped. I squeezed my eyes shut. Jay continued, quiet, unself-conscious, as if God was standing in the room beside us. ‘Father, we thank you for leading Bridie here to us tonight. She is such a special, wonderful person, and a loving friend. We pray that she opens her heart to your love, that she finds your grace. We pray that she comes to know your love just as surely as we do …’
    I should have been embarrassed. I should have felt like an idiot, standing there with a plate of cake in one hand and Jay grasping the other, praying for me, telling a room full of people how special I was.
    But strangely, I felt a sense of peace and calm, like a huge, warm, protective hand lowered over us all. And when I raised my head, I saw Elliot, too, with his head bowed and his hands gripped on the back of a chair. His lips were moving.
    And for the first time, I was sure there must be something there, some power or presence, and that Jay and Elliot knew it, and trusted it, in spite of everything. And it was that conviction that lodged in me that night.
    After I got home, I sat by my bedroom window and looked up at the silver moon. For the first time ever in my life, I said silently, Please , God …
    It was easier when I closed my eyes. Instantly I felt that same warmth travel down my spine, that sense of waiting stillness. I couldn’t pray like Pastor Matt, or even like Jay. So I just said silently, Please let Jay’s eye get better. Please let the war end soon.