Free Selby Scrambled by Duncan Ball

Trifle. ‘But I should have them done in an hour or so. I think you’ll be surprised when you see how much money is in the council’s bank account.’
    ‘That’s wonderful,’ Mrs Trifle exclaimed.
    ‘And here is the bill for my services.’
    Mrs Trifle looked at it.
    ‘That’s very reasonable,’ she said.
    ‘Don’t worry about writing a cheque. I’ll just transfer the money directly from the council’s bank account to mine and then I’ll be off.’
    ‘It’s been a pleasure having you here,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘The house has never been this clean before.’
    ‘You’ve done a wonderful job,’ Mrs Triflesaid, giving him a huge hug. ‘And I know that Selby has enjoyed your company.’
    No sooner were the Trifles out the door than Miles turned on the computer.
    ‘Now to transfer the money,’ he said. ‘Let’s see, here’s the account number and now to transfer …’
    ‘Hey, hang on!’ Selby thought as he looked at the computer screen. ‘That’s not the amount that he told Mrs Trifle. That’s much much more.’
    Miles got up and started pacing around the room.
    ‘I can’t do it,’ he said out loud. ‘I just can’t do it. I’d hate myself too much. But I have to do it. Oh, Selby, what should I do?’
    ‘You could start by not stealing the council’s money,’ Selby thought.
    ‘If I don’t do it then I’ll lose my apartment, and my car — I’ll lose everything! Oh, me. Oh, poor me!’
    ‘Don’t do it, Miles,’ Selby pleaded in his brain. ‘You’re a good man, really. You’ve just let your life get out of control.’
    ‘I’m a good man, really,’ Miles said. ‘But I’m a desperate man. I simply have to do it.’
    Miles was about to push the RETURN button on the computer when he started pacing again.
    ‘This is terrible!’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got to do something — fast!’
    Selby leapt up on the desk, knocking over a vase of flowers.
    ‘Selby!’ Miles cried. ‘Now there’s water all over the desk. Oh, well, I’ll just finish this off first.’

    Miles was about to hit the RETURN button again when he suddenly stopped.
    ‘No, no, I can’t do it — at least not with this mess here. I’ll get a sponge.’
    Miles went out to the kitchen.
    ‘That’s a start,’ Selby thought. ‘Now for the serious stuff. I’ve got to keep him from doing the evil deed.’
    It was a diabolical dog that raced around the house, tipping over wastepaper baskets, furniture and flower pots and leaving greasy noseprints on the windows. By the time Miles returned with the sponge, there was mess everywhere.
    ‘Selby! What are you doing?’ cried the accountant, as he ran for a dustpan and brush.
    ‘Oh, no! Now you’ve stepped in your water bowl and you’re tracking dirt all over the place! What’s got into you?’
    It was a stealthy dog that picked up the telephone just when Miles turned on the vacuum cleaner in the other room.
    ‘Is this Greg from A-1 Rentals?’ Selby said, putting on his best accountant’s voice. ‘This is Miles, Miles Manerd. I think I have the answer to my financial problems. There are just a few things
    I’d like you to do. And would you send me back an email about it? Here’s the address …’
    It was a relaxed dog that lay innocently on the carpet in the study when the mild-mannered accountant returned.
    ‘Now for the terrible deed,’ he said, ‘sitting down at the computer. What’s this? An email? For me? Let’s see what it says.’
    And this is what it said:
    DEAR MILES,
    I HAVE DONE AS YOU INSTRUCTED. I THINK IT WAS VERY SENSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE UP THAT APARTMENT. I’VE FOUND A SMALLER ONE FOR YOU WHICH YOU CAN MOVE INTO STRAIGHT AWAY. THE CAR RENTAL AGENCY IS HAPPY FOR YOU TO EXCHANGE YOURS FOR AN OLDER ONE. AND THE SALE OF HALF YOUR FURNITURE – IT WOULDN’T HAVE FITTED INTO THE SMALLER FLAT ANYWAY, AS YOU SAID - SHOULD PAY YOUR EXISTING BILLS AND THE RENT YOU OWE ME.
    BEST WISHES,
GREG
    ‘Did as I instructed? I don’t remember asking him to