Free George Washington Zombie Slayer by David Wiles

wife and children knew it was he who was opening the door. Martha Washington ran to him immediately and hugged him tightly.
    “What were those soldiers , those…things?” she asked excitedly. “They looked like the creature that attacked us the night we first met!” she shuddered. “But they wore British uniforms!”
    “It’s all right, it’s all right,” Washington replied softly. “The danger has passed.”
    Washington’s children, too, ran to him and hugged him tightly, one child clasped tightly around each of his legs.
    “I was scared, Pa pa,” young Martha said to him. ”Those monsters affrighted us so terribly that young Johnny shat his jammies.”
    “Ah, yes” Washington frowned , smelling the stink. “Well for now, Patsy, go back to your bedroom and there remain. There is much broken glass downstairs, so stay abed awhile. Your mother will be downstairs directing the slaves in cleaning the parlor.”
    Martha and the two children turned to leave but Washington grabbed his stepson John by the shoulder, saying: “ Johnny, stay a moment.”
    The two women left the room and Washington shut the bedroom door and sat on a small stool across from his standing stepson. The strong smell of feces filled the room.
    “Yes, father?” Johnny asked, tears already welling up in his eyes, knowing that his father was displeased with the stinky pooload that filled his pajamas.
    “John,” Washington began. “I fear that your reaction to the present crisis has been…less then exemplary.”
    “But Father!” the child pleaded. “They were monsters!”
    “Yes, they were monsters,” George Washington explained. “But there are many monsters in the world. Some animal, some human, some inhuman.”
    “I was SO a-frighted, Father,” Johnny explained.
    “I was frightened also,” George Washington admitted. “But it is in our moments of fear that we find our manhood. It is in these moments that we must… face fear …like men.”
    Johnny stood there speechless.
    “And the women, your mother and sister,” George explained further, growing somewhat more angry, “why, they depend upon us for their protection. We must be strong for them.”
    Johnny remained speechless, while he could see his father growing angrier.
    “What I’m saying,” Washington said, raising his voice, “is that you don’t need to take a giant stinking shit every time you’re scared!”
    “But Father--,” Johnny pleaded. “I couldn’t help it!”
    “Last week you crapped yourself when you were scared by a bumblebee!” Washington exclaimed. “And the week before when one my Mr. Kindly’s dogs barked at you!”
    “It was a large bee, father,” Johnny explained. “And a loud dog!”
    “It’s unmanly! ” Washington chastised angrily. “And so help me I would put you over my knee but for the fact I would get shit all over my hand while spanking you!”
    Johnny burst into tears, opened the door and ran crying from the room. George sat speechless on his stool, and his wife Martha walked in silently and stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders.
    “You were hard on the boy,” Martha said softly. “He’s not as fearless as his father.”
    “There may come a time,” Washington said, “when his life may depend on action and fearlessness. And in that moment, I don’t want him to simply cry and crap himself.”
    Martha rubbed his shoulders and sighed. “Well,” she said at last. “At least he gives us much good fertilizer for the flower beds.” And they both chuckled softly.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter 13
    Benjamin Franklin Discovers Electricity
    (And Something Else)
     
     
    The day after the zombie attack at Mount Vernon, there was almost no sign that the assault had ever happened. Washington’s slaves, skilled craftsmen with years of training, had restored and repaired the house with immaculate precision. The glass windows were replaced, the wood repaired, walls repainted and carpets cleaned. Perhaps the only sign