Free Must Be Fate: (Cody and Clover) (A Jetty Beach Romance Book 3) by Claire Kingsley

talking. I felt him moving closer to me, but then my stupid head started to hurt. A lot. Like, seeing spots in my vision, making my stomach roil hurt. I’m still pissed at myself for not holding out longer. I’m pretty sure he was minutes from kissing me, and that would have gone a long way toward making my head feel better.
    I paused at the bottom of the staircase to say goodnight, like I have every night since I started staying with him. I desperately wanted him to follow me up. Even though my head was killing me, I wanted him close.
    Why didn’t I just ask? I’ve never been shy about sex. My parents raised me to be free and open with my sexuality. I was taught it was normal to explore and want to experience new things. So I did. When I want sex with a man, I’m always blunt about it. I rarely wait for him to make the first move.
    But Cody is different. He’s so gentle and protective, but there’s such a fire behind his eyes. I’m not sure what it means. He hasn’t actually tried to kiss or touch me. It seems like he wants to, especially last night—but if he isn’t acting on it, maybe I’m wrong. He did just get out of a relationship. Or maybe he just isn’t attracted to me. It seems like he is, but considering I’ve been sleeping in his bed for almost a week and he hasn’t made a move on me, I could be seeing something that isn’t there.
    And the truth of it is, I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I’m wrong.
    Being openly rejected by him is terrifying. So I hold back. I try to give him all the signs I possibly can to let him know I’m interested, but men aren’t always good at picking up on those sorts of things. And if he has noticed, and isn’t responding, that tells me what I need to know. I’d rather have nothing happen between us than have him tell me no.
    The why of that is a mystery to me. I’ve never felt this way about a man. I’ve never been so torn between wanting someone and being scared of being rejected by him. I usually throw caution to the wind and go after what I want. I just can’t with Cody, no matter how my body responds when he’s near. He makes me hot and wet and almost crazy with desire. But if he didn’t want me back, it would crush me.
    The water turns off and I grip the covers. Maybe this will be the morning he comes in. I imagine him opening the door, peeking in to see if I’m awake. His hair would be wet and he’d be wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. I’d sit up a little and smile, nodding my head toward the bed. He’d be cautious, but I would throw off the covers, and he’d let his towel drop. His cock would be hard for me, and I wouldn’t even bother undressing. I’d slide my fingers between my legs, push my panties aside and then…
    Fuck. I’m breathing hard and my pussy is hot. I need to stop doing that. He isn’t coming in, and I’m only making it worse for myself.
    I must have dozed off again because when I look at the clock it’s almost nine. I’m not supposed to go to Old Town Café until tomorrow, so my day is wide open. What I need to do is find an apartment.
    I go downstairs, dressed only in panties and one of Cody’s t-shirts. They’re so comfortable and they smell like him, so I wear them to bed every night. He hasn’t said anything about it, but I’m not sure if he’s noticed.
    I put on hot water for coffee, grab my laptop, a jar of peanut butter, and a spoon. I’m hungry, but don’t feel like making a real breakfast. I sit on the couch, and fire up my laptop.
    There are already two rentals I want to call about, but I need to find more options. My credit is pretty bad, and it might be tough to convince someone to take me as a renter. I’m new in town, without a solid job history.
    I dig out a spoonful of peanut butter and lick the top while I scroll through rental listings. There’s a cottage that looks promising. I don’t know the streets well enough to be sure of where it is. I wonder how close it is to Cody’s house.