Free Amish Redemption (Erotic Romance) (Amish Heart Trilogy) by Miranda Rush Page A

you.”
    “I don’t think I can do that.”
    Staci was piqued.  “You did it just fine last night.”
    “That was different.  I was drunk.”
    “Don’t give me that shit!  A person only does drunk what they want to do sober.  Alcohol only lowers your inhibitions.”
    “So?” 
    “You want me.  You’re in love with me.  I saw it in the bar before you even took one drink.”
    Not knowing why, Rebekah was irked.  “No, I was thinking you were a lot like Nick,” she said testily.  Instantly she regretted it.  A wounded expression came into Staci’s beautiful brown eyes.
    “Was that all it was?”  Tears were forming in Staci’s eyes.
    Rebekah was torn.  She had not meant to hurt Staci, but she could not let her think she was in love with her.   She reached past the tray to touch Staci’s hand.  “I’m sorry.”
    Staci jerked her hand away, chafed, but then she forced a smile.  “Like I said before, I can see why he loved you so much.  I —” her voice broke.  “I usually just fuck. I just don’t fall for anyone.”
    “That’s what I thought —”
    “You thought it was just a mercy fuck?”  Her face twisted.  “ No.  You’ve gotten under my skin.”
    Rebekah didn’t see how it was possible.  The past week she had been in her own world fighting the strain of her own grief and trying to plan Nick’s funeral.  She had been at her absolute worst and didn’t see how anyone could have fallen in love with her at a time like that.
    “So, what are you going to do?”
    “I don’t know.  Get a job, I guess.  Move out of here.”
    “Come out to California with me,” Staci suggested, as if it were a new idea.  “I’d support you and we wouldn’t have to have a relationship.” 
    But we would have to have one , Rebekah thought.  She knew that Staci would be like Nick, doggedly pursuing what she wanted, and the issue of a relationship would never be dropped.  In the situation with Nick, it was different: she had been in love with him.  She and Staci would constantly be at each other’s throats.
    “Staci, it wouldn’t work.”
    She leaned forward.  “You haven’t even tried it—”
    Rebekah shook her head.  Already Staci was hounding her.  “No.”
    “How do you know?”
    “Staci.  No.” 
    Staci contemplated her for a moment, and then leaned forward to kiss Rebekah’s lips. Rebekah did not kiss back.  Staci backed off slowly.  “Well, if you ever change your mind . . .”
    Rebekah did not answer. 
    She expected Staci to leave soon after that, but she stayed on for months, taking charge of things, helping her find a suitable apartment in Bethany, packing and organizing the move.  While Rebekah was not helpless, she was severely hampered by the cast on her leg and would not have been able to manage on her own.  Staci seemed to pretend that the night of Nick’s funeral had never happened and they settled into an easy companionship.  Rebekah never brought the matter up again.  Staci mentioned it one last time when, a week after her cast was removed, Rebekah came home and announced she had gotten a job housekeeping at a local motel. 
    “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
    “I do have to do it.”  Rebekah expected an argument, but Staci fell silent. 
    A few days after that Staci packed her suitcase and left.  Before leaving, she had insisted on purchasing a used car for Rebekah to drive, saying over Rebekah’s protests that it wasn’t for Rebekah’s sake at all, but it was to make sure that Rachel would easily have everything she needed: groceries, trips to the park, rides to the doctor.  Public transportation was non-existent in Bethany and so Rebekah gratefully accepted. 
    After Staci had left, a great emptiness filled the apartment.  Staci’s good-natured chatter had been a constant in Rebekah’s life since Nick’s death and now the silence was deafening.  In the few days that she had before she started her new job, she poured herself