Free Shades of Obsession by L J Hadley

Intro

 
 
    ‘It takes six to
nine days for a bruise to fade.’
    Luke has carried
me to the bath he has run and I sit spent, shaking and reeling as, very gently,
he washes me intimately, inserting his fingers, soaping me, removing his scent.
    I do nothing.
    I feel like a
rag doll.
    Astounded at
what has taken place.
    The things he
did.
    But it’s Luke, I
remind myself and I always let him do anything.
    He pulls the
plug and lifts me out.
    I stand and he
dries me and then, in a matter of fact way, he dresses me.
    He takes a bra and
panties from my drawer and then walks me to the bed and he puts on my blouse
and does it up, then he slides on my panties so they are around my knees and he
does the same with my skirt, then pulls me to a stand and zips my skirt and
then he walks me to my bedside table and that’s when he say it. ‘It takes six
to nine days for a bruise to fade.’ He opens my jewellery box and selects my
watch.
    I haven’t worn a
watch in years.
    He slides it
onto my wrist and it covers the bruise and I pick up a thick bracelet that Rick
bought me for Christmas one year.
    Is there guilt
as I pull it on to hide the other bruise?
    Not yet.
    Is there shame?
    Soon.
    Luke has taken
me back to the edge, but it’s a different edge than it was all those years ago.
    And that was
just the start he promised - there is so much more to learn, he has told me
– there is so much that I don’t know.
    I am too naïve,
Luke has always told me that I am.
    I don’t feel
that way anymore.
    ‘Look.’ He lifts
my chin and I look at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair is in knots and
messy, my face is still flushed and I need to sort out my make up before I go
to pick up the twins but, apart from that, I’m almost back to who I was just a
couple of hours ago.
    On the outside.
    I look like
Portia – the perfect wife, the doting mum, right arm woman to the school
principal.
    The image in the
mirror doesn’t equate with how I feel on the inside, nor what just went on in this room.
    And then Luke
turns my face to his.
    He is the most
beautiful man I have ever seen.
    His hair is as
black as night, his skin so pale and he truly is beautiful.
    He always has
been.
    Dangerous my mother
called him.
    Bad for me, my
father said.
    He was all those
things and so much more.
    I was warned, I
was told and, a long time ago I listened, I conformed.
    But now he’s
back in my life and the stakes are much higher this time– and he is bad
for me, he is dangerous.
    I could lose
everything to his hand.
    I feel sick as
to what just occurred, guilt comes in then and so too does shame and I want him
gone, I want my head back, my normal life to return, but then he tells me that
I am beautiful, in a way that no-one else can, and then he kisses me.
    It is a kiss
that claims my mouth, which hushes my racing thoughts, that stems the guilt
that is flooding in.
    It is a kiss that
is tender.
    I feel myself
buckle again, I am back to being his and there’s nothing I can do. I went
through the withdrawals for months, no years and I’m back to addicted again. I feel the flood come back to my bones, to my veins, to my sex, as Luke
kisses me back to him.
    And do I crave
the woman I was two days ago? Do I want to go back to how it was before he came
back into my life? Do I crave the safe, seemingly perfect existence my husband
has so carefully created.
    No.
    In Luke’s arms I
am honest.
    I crave Luke.
    I crave this, I
crave all we could have had, but more than that, I crave all that he is going
to teach me.

 

Chapter One

 
    Before …

 
    I have my
earphones in as I jog.
    I take the same
route everyday.
    Before Rick gets
up.
    Before the twins awake.
    It’s my hour and
I need it. Just the pavement and my music - just an hour that’s mine before I start
my day.
    It’s still dark
and, as I turn the corner, I look up at the hill I will soon tackle with paced
ease. I stop for a moment and have a drink from my water bottle and take out my
earphones,