Free Soon by Charlotte Grimshaw

housing all afternoon.’
    Simon said spiritlessly, ‘How to have less of it.’
    Ed said, ‘How to harness aspiration.’
    â€˜Harness aspiration. You mean making people fend for themselves.’
    Ed smiled. ‘ Helping people fend for themselves.’
    â€˜Helping them? Don’t you just mean telling them to get on with it, and letting them rot if they can’t manage?’
    â€˜Exactly. Harnessing aspiration.’
    They both laughed.
    â€˜David grew up poor . . .’ Simon said.
    â€˜But he harnessed his aspiration.’
    Simon thought of Roza. He quoted, ‘You hate the thing that brought you low, and the people you met while you were down there.’
    Ed said, ‘What’s that mean?’
    â€˜Do you think David has a revulsion to the poor?’
    Ed held up his glass. ‘David has a revulsion to failure. ’
    â€˜Not a revulsion to failures ? With an s? You know what they say: he’s one of those people who’s used the social ladder then kicked it away from the ones behind.’
    â€˜Certainly not. We are not the party that kicks away the ladder. We supply the ladder of aspiration. What we say to people is: You make life happen. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.’
    â€˜That’s excellent, that is.’
    â€˜Thank you.’
    â€˜I propose a toast,’ Simon said, ‘to the Ladder of Aspiration.’ They raised their glasses and clinked them together. They were both quite drunk.
    He climbed the stairs. He didn’t usually venture into this upper part of the main house, where the Hallwrights lived. But David had asked him to find Roza. David and the Cock were now quite drunk too, and Ed had taken over from Troy and was mixing them a round of his special cocktails. Sharon and Karen had gone to bed, and David said he and the Cock couldn’t settle the dispute they were having unless they consulted Roza.
    He followed the sound of her voice. She was in Johnnie’s room and the little boy was sitting up in bed. His night light was a glowing planet Earth, casting blue shadows on the walls.
    Simon suppressed an impatient sigh, listened.
    The Bachelor brewed one of his most complex nightcaps and, not wishing to be disturbed by his jealous Cassowaries, gave them each a sip of his potion, sending them into a deep sleep. Then he set off to find the Green Lady. But when he got to her jewelled tent, intending to ply her with strong drink while reading her his finest poems, he was disappointed; the object of his greatest hopes was inside the castle with the Ort Cloud, where an important conference was taking place. A spy had reported that the Ort Cloud’s Wife and Barbie Yah were amassing their own forces, and were planning a devastating attack. The battle would take place on the western plain, possibly as soon as the following morning, and the Ort Cloud’s Wife had made a vow: this time she would finish off her husband, kill his friends, and take any survivors to be her slaves.
    The Bachelor, followed by Soon and Starfish, suavely entered the conference room.
    â€œDear Lady,” he said, brandishing his bottle, “I will fight alongside you. To the death if necessary. Perhaps a light snifter before we prepare?”
    The Green Lady rolled her eyes.
    Soon and Starfish had sneaked in and were now hiding behind the curtains. They’d been missing since the afternoon, when their tutor, the High Priestess Germphobia, had announced they needed a bath, and had come after them armed with soap and scrubbing brushes. They’d been forced to take refuge in the Idiots’ Village, and then in the forest . . .
    Simon said, ‘David wants you.’
    Johnnie glared. ‘Make Soon talk.’
    â€˜Bed. Tomorrow a terrible battle will ensue.’
    â€˜Make Soon talk.’
    Roza ignored him and came out onto the landing.
    â€˜The Cock’s drinking cocktails,’ Simon said.
    â€˜I