Free My Boyfriend is a Monster by J.H. Coates Page B

Son of a bitch.”
    “Mm-Hmm, who’s - my bitch?”
    Suddenly the van hit the curb with a violent thud. Smiling Louis turned to his oversized brother. “I don’t know who your bitch,” he said smugly pointing his thumb out the window. “But you definitely da curbs bitch.” Darting his head back out the window he decided to turn it into a question and answer period. “Why you fucking hit it like dat? Better yet, how fuck you go so slow and still hit da curb?”
    “Don’t be cussing me, you know it just makes me nervous,” Bo said putting it into reverse.
    “If a squirrel fart in da woods it make you nervous.”
    Suddenly Bo Slammed on the brakes causing Louis to lunge forward and whack his forehead off the dash board. Bo turned to him laughing silently in a fit unable to talk.
    Meanwhile Louis checked himself to see if he was bleeding. “I gonna sue you for negligence you big Gorilla,” he said rubbing his forehead. Blinking a couple of times to correct his vision he turned to see that his brother was still laughing silently and fighting to breath. “What so funny?”
    Struggling for air he finally burst. “Squirrel farting - now that’s funny,” he said hitting Louis on the shoulder so hard it sent him sideways bouncing his head off the door frame.
    “Son-bitch,” he painfully yelped. Leaning back he quickly noticed an actual dent and began looking for blood, again.
    “You think it smells like peanuts?” Bo asked s ending himself into another fit of waving his arms and kicking at the floor.
    Staring at him in disbelief he turned arou nd hearing tapping on the door. His face turned from bitter disdain to over joy as he burst out of the window with his arms open and ready for a hug from his other brother.
    His other brother was not as over joyed. “Your late, park it around back,” Nathan said walking back into his store without hugging him.
    “Fuck you too,” Louis said sliding back into the truck. He turned to Bo who was about to say something, “Just park around back Magilla.”
    “Magilla the Gorilla,” he said starting to chuckle.
    “Oh, it’s ok if I give you cute cartoon name and call you a monkey.”
    “Magilla isn’t a monkey . . . he’s an ape, asshole,” Bo corrected him with a laugh.
    “Should’ve told him to have a tea or take da nap. Since we gonna be awhile,” he sighed. The van took a long slow U turn then went back up the street and turned left. It wasn’t quite as painful since the back street was empty and Bo just had to drive until he saw Nathan hold out his hand and stop. Hopping out of the passenger side Louis stretched then looked at Nathan and opened his arms up a second time. “Come give me da hug you fucker,” he yelled. Running at him with his arms still open he ignored his brother’s gestures not to and wrapped his arms around him. “I miss you Bro,” he said grabbing his cheeks and pinching them together until his mouth resembled a fishes.
    “I-Missed-You-Too,” Nathan replied as well as he could with his cheeks mushed together.
    Watching Louis being pushed out of the way he felt two massive arms engulf him and lift him into the air. Hugging him so tight until their cheeks mashed together Nathan could hear the muffled giggles of his Herculean brother. He decided to close his eyes and go to his happy place until the massacre was over while the giant began planting giant kisses on his forehead. Timidly he opened one eye to a familiar smile.
    “I missed you Nathan, did you miss me?” Bo asked still squeezing his brother in his arms.
    Nathan fought for breath trying to answer. Louis thought he resembled more of an animal on a nature show being slowly killed by constriction. Seeing his brother’s face start to change a dark shade of purple he decided to save him. “Okay you big Anaconda, you gonna break him for Christ sake.”
    Releasing him from his mighty embrace Nathan dropped to his feet instantly bending over. Shooting back up and taking a deep breath