Free My Boyfriend is a Monster by J.H. Coates

look scarier or more determined and then wondered if it made a difference.
    “Holy shit!” he said from inside his little yellow car that seemed to be getting smaller.
    Getting to the window Bo seemed to block out the newly risen sun creating a manmade eclipse. Bending down to meet the driver face to face his brows were slanted and the vain on his forehead seemed much bigger this close up. Looking forward the man tried to avoid eye contact but couldn’t help but peek to confirm the immenseness in his window.
    “Now,” Bo’s deep raspy voice introduced terrifyingly. “I don’t think that was very nice,” he said expecting a response.
    Shaking his head the man in the car agreed with enthusiasm.
    “Now I’m not from around here see. I’m looking for my little brother’s book store to drop of those there books,” he said pointing to the van as if the man in the car should have already known that there are books in it. Pausing for a moment his entire demeanor changed suddenly. “Do you know where my brother’s book store is? It’s called Imagination.”
    Offering the gargantuan in his window a sympathetic smile the man just shook his head and mouthed the word “Sorry”.
    “Hmm, you know where Michigan Avenue is?”
    The frightened man nodded.
    “Well,” he said in anticipation.
    “You’re on it.” the man said timidly.
    Bo looked up and down the street then starte d to laugh. “Well I’ll be a Son of a gun,” he said. Shaking his head he called back to the truck. “Louis, hey Louis I know why I can’t find it . . . were on it.” Chuckling he turned back looking at the three cars that were now lined up behind the yellow one. “Sorry everybody,” he said and waved. One car even waved back, but no one yelled at him. He turned back to the driver in the little yellow car happier than ever. “Well alright then, thank you,” Bo said tapping the roof making a loud hollowing sound. He was about to head back to his van when he remembered one last piece of advice and turned back. “I suggest you be a little friendlier and a tad more patient though,” he said with a ghastly scowl. “Next person you piss off might not be as friendly.” The man nodded feverishly. Later when telling the story of the man who was seven-eight feet tall (if he was a foot) defied all laws of physics. As he would swear he could hear the fabric of the giants shirt fight to stay permanent.
    Returning to the van he pulled himself in making the entire thing rock back and forth. He was laughing just as Louis was but both for different reasons. “We have been on Michigan Avenue this whole time.”
    “I know Cher.”
    Suddenly Bo wasn’t laughing anymore. “What do you mean - you know?”
    “I knew we were on de Michigan Avenue fifteen minutes ago when you turn on it.”
    “Then why did you let me keep looking for it like an idiot?”
    “Because it is funny, you big ape,” he said beginning to laugh again.
    Raising his hands as if he was going to s mack him caused Louis to scream. “Not da face - I’m too pretty,” he giggled holding his arms over his face.
    “That’s an ugly quality mister . . . ug -ly,” he said driving through the green light and starting traffic again.
    “Why you call me ugly Bo, I think you are handsome.”
    At first he tried to ignore him but then he couldn’t help it and began smiling. “You really think I’m handsome?”
    “Sure . . .” Louis said getting more comfortable, “For a Gorilla.”
    Bo just shook his head getting angry at himself. “Every time,” he said more upset at himself for walking into it.
    Changing the subject Louis began to chuckle. “Hey that was funny when dat man sees you coming over to him. I bet he shit himself, did it smell like da poop in his car?”
    Distracted from the previous insult Bo started to chuckle as well. “Yeah that was pretty funny . . . and no, it did not smell like - DA poop.”
    “Probably thought you were gonna eat him or something.”
    “Why