Free The Extremely Epic Viking Tale of Yondersaay by Aoife Lennon-Ritchie

…?’
    “‘Yes?’ The jarl waited patiently.
    “‘There’s a girl,’ the king said.
    “‘A girl?’ the jarl asked, nodding sagely and stifling a grin.
    “‘Yes, I was just wondering who she was and if she also might think that I’m a grotesque enemy just out to plunder and pillage.’
    “‘We have many beautiful girls here on Yondersaay. I, of course, know every single one of them, as I know all people on my island. We are all one big loving community,’ the jarl said and swirled his arms around in the air to demonstrate this closeness. ‘Describe her for me.’
    “‘She has skin the color of polished ivory.’
    “‘Pale skin. Yes.’
    “‘And eyes reminiscent of bluebells.’
    “‘Blue eyes. Yes.’
    “‘And hair the strangest color of red I have ever seen. It is the color of a sunset over the oceans of sand, the color the sea goes before a rain, the color—’
    “‘Red hai— No !’
    “‘No?’
    “‘No. I know no one like that.’
    “‘But—’
    “‘Nope. I’m afraid not. Nuh-uh.’
    “‘But you just said you knew everyone on the island, that you were just one big loving community.’ The king swirled his arms in the air the way the jarl had done. ‘Besides, you must know her; she was in your house just now.’
    “‘Oh, that red-haired girl. Oh, yes,’ said Jarl Olaf, looking a little defeated.
    “‘Yes?’
    “‘Yes. But she’s no one.’
    “‘ Really ?’ King Dudo said, narrowing his eyes.
    “‘Just a servant girl, a mere peasant,’ the jarl continued. He leaned toward the king and said to him in a low voice, ‘It is widely believed that she has, um, very hairy toes. And she’s not a good sort. And she has smelly knees by all accounts. You are not interested in her. No, no, no. We’ll forget you even saw her. Very hairy toes.’ And Jarl Olaf Barelegs the Balding on Top led King Dudo the Mightily Impressive through the forest to a spot under a taut young oak where a luscious picnic had been laid out in preparation for them.
    “‘I wish to introduce you to someone,’ the jarl said to the king as they sat by the picnic. All of a sudden, he heard a voice from above him.
    “‘Hello,’ said the voice. King Dudo was startled. He looked up but could see no one. He looked all around—no one. He got up and walked around the tree—no sign of a living person who could have spoken.
    “‘I have decided,’ the jarl said, ‘to be utterly forthcoming with you about the island, King Dudo. I think it is right that you should have answers to your questions about Yondersaay’s secrets. It is for this reason that I am introducing you to Rarelief the Splendiferous.’
    At that, the jarl looked straight up. King Dudo also looked straight up. Just then, the tree moved forward and down as though taking a bow.
    ‘I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, Your Kingship.’
    “Now,” Granny said, “let’s do the rest of the shopping!” She made to heave herself out of her comfy chair.
    “But, Granny, that’s not the end of the story, is it?” Dani said.
    “It can’t be,” said Ruairi.
    “In truth, it is not the end of the story. But it is getting very late,” Granny struggled onto her feet. “And we still have oodles of shopping to do. I’ll tell you what. If it’s all right with Mum, you can stay up late tonight, and I’ll tell you what happens next.”
    Dani sneaked a glance out through the shop’s front window. The coast was clear, so she gave a quick nod to Ruairi. They both turned to their mother.
    “We’ll be very good all day,” Ruairi promised.
    “Yes, and we’ll help with the dishes,” Dani said.
    “And we’ll brush our teeth,” Ruairi added.
    “Well it is the night before Christmas Eve,” Mum said, and Ruairi could almost see the cogs going around in Mum’s head as she weighed up the dangers of lack of sleep and overexcitement. “Oh, all right then,” she finally said, and Dani and Ruairi gave a cheer.
    The three redheads and the