yet.”
“Sounds good,” Ernst said, leading the way out. “Let’s go see if the twins have made it back from their little excursion, too.”
“You do that,” she said, “I’m going to shower. If they need help because they’re in some cluster fuck, I’m going to be clean for it.”
Brian
“What the fuck!” Brian shouted, driving his machete into another ancient nun’s head.
“What?” Corey grunted, taking a dead priest’s head off at the neck with one solid blow.
“Did every fucking priest and nun in the city come and fucking hide here?”
The aisles of the thrift shop were filled with the bodies of the undead, and more were spilling over them, trying to get at the twins. Brian fought the urge to start using his A4, and he knew his twin felt the same way, using the A4, though, that would only pull every fucking zombie in the New England area towards them.
“Oh my fucking God,” Corey moaned, “I just want to get out of this fucking store.”
A glance back at the door showed a pair of dead teenagers pushing at the glass.
“We’re just going to have to deal with those outside,” Brian snapped, shoving a fat nun backwards before slamming the machete into her temple, ichor splurting out around the weapon. She weighed so much that he nearly fell with her before he was able to jerk the blade free.
“How the fuck can a nun be fat?” he asked.
“Why, does that turn you on?” Corey snickered.
“Oh, you’re a real funny motherfucker today,” Brian said, slamming a rack of clothes towards a priest with a gimpy leg.
“Every day, my dear brother, every fucking day. Everyone knows that I’m the funny one.”
“Everyone knows that you’re the dumb one, too,” Brian replied.
“Don’t hate,” Corey laughed, “don’t hate.”
The two brothers became quiet as they finished the last of the undead priests and nuns off, Brian hastily slamming the back door shut. Corey hurried up and slammed a straight-back chair under the doorknob and kicked it into place.
Simultaneously the two of them sighed and shook their heads.
“Now the front,” Corey said.
“I need a fucking minute here, bro,” Brian said, adjusting his pack. His clean utes were splattered with whatever shit the zombies had for blood. Corey was just the same. After a moment Brian realized that they were both breathing heavily. “So,” he said, “all we have t o do are kill those two fucks – ”
“Three,” Corey said.
“What?” Brian looked to the door and saw a legless man between the teenagers pounding on the bottom. “Fuck. Yeah. Three. Kill those fucking three and make it across the street.”
“Sounds easy enough,” Corey said.
“Just as easy as slipping into the thrift shop and picking up some shit for Michael and Susan, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Fuck you,” Brian sighed.
“And fuck you, too.”
Brian chuckled. “Okay, anything else in here we want?”
“Do you think that they have any skin flicks in here?”
“Really, Corey?” Brian asked. “Maybe I should just beat the shit out of you.”
“Later, later.”
The two brothers looked at each other and laughed.
“Okay,” Corey said, “let’s fucking do this.”
The two went to the door, stepping over fallen merchandise and the dead. Together they pushed, with Brian near the edge. The zombies pushed against the door, their moans loud through the glass as they tried to reach the twins.
“Stupid mindless fucks,” Corey grunted, and as the door opened just enough, the legless zombie grabbed Brian by the right leg.
Brian swung down with the machete, loping off the hand as it brought its head closer to his shin. Brian crushed its skull with the back swing, and they suddenly had the door open. Corey moved quickly, two slashes and the heads were tumbling, bouncing off of the brick and rolling along the sidewalk, mouths still moving, but the moaning gone as the bodies collapsed.
“Dude,”
Tricia Goyer; Mike Yorkey