Free Winter's Bees by E. E. Ottoman

Marcel, put his hands on Marcel's waist to run them up his chest, but they remained locked on the handles of his chair instead.
    Gilbert licked his lips, throat fall far too dry, and raised his gaze to meet Marcel's own. "I hope so, I really do." I hate this, I miss you so much.
    He watched Marcel's eyes widen and then darken, for a heart-stopping moment Gilbert thought Marcel was going to close the space between them and take Gilbert's lips with his own. Time seemed to freeze while Gilbert's heart hammered frantically in his chest and breathing became in impossible feat. His gaze dropped down to Marcel's lips, soft and full and if Gilbert remembered correctly very demanding …
    "Goodnight, Berti." Marcel straightened up and let his hand fall from Gilbert's shoulder, turning towards the doorway.
    It took him a long time after the door had closed behind Marcel for him to get his breathing back under control and his thoughts back into some semblance of order.   
     Even after his pulse had settled, the only thing Gilbert could think about was that he was in very deep trouble indeed.
    *~*~*
    It was finally summer. Gilbert could feel the warmth of the sun on his face, could feel the slight breeze ruffling through his hair and making a faint sound in the leaves above him. All around, he could hear the hum of insects and the call of birds. Gilbert lay on his back in the grass, eyes closed, and let himself enjoy it.
    It had been winter for so long, after all.
    "Gilbert …"
    Someone was calling his name, but through the haze of contentment he couldn't be bothered to figure out who it was or even open his eyes.
    "Gilbert." Lips touched his, soft, warm and sweet. He opened his mouth a little bit to accept the kiss and deepen it. Another body stretched out along his back. A hand worked its way under his shirt to touch his chest and stomach. He turned his head for another kiss and got one, long, lazy, and thorough. The hand that been tracing gentle circles against his chest slid down to cup him through his breeches, and a thigh slid between his own, easing his legs a little bit further apart.
    "Taking a nap, love?"
    "I was trying to," Gilbert murmured between kisses. He felt more than heard the laugh muffled against his lips as the fingers that had been cupping him undid he front breaches …
    Gilbert woke slowly, warm wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, cock aching and body feeling alive and sensitive with arousal. His fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking slowly, enjoying the slow pleasure too much to end it all quickly. He'd been having a nice dream …
    Gilbert sat up, thrashing out from under the blankets as panic overtook his sense of sleepy comfort.
    Again. He'd had one of the dreams again.
    He let himself fall back onto the bed and covered his face with his hands. He never used to have many dreams of a carnal nature, but over the last few weeks it had become all too common.
    And far too often the dreams involved Marcel, like tonight. Gilbert could remember the way Marcel's body had fit against his own, the feel of Marcel's hand cupping his cock, Marcel's lips …
    Fuck!
    He wished, how he wished, that these dreams would simply go away. He had never thought of Marcel thus, never desired him as anything more than a friend awake or asleep until the Christmas ball. Since then, the dreams would not leave him alone. Barely a night had gone by when he had not woken sticky with his own seed and with Marcel's name on his lips.
    What made it worse was that Marcel's love for him was so pure. Yes, Marcel desired him, but he'd also gone on for years shielding Gilbert from his feelings—at great cost to his own emotional state, no doubt. He would have continued to do so forever if not for their marriage. Even his apologies for the kiss they had shared had been so heartfelt, showed such deep concern for Gilbert's wellbeing without any thought for himself and the desires he must have. Gilbert had rejected him over and over, acted as though