Free 99 Palms: Horn OK Please by Kartik Iyengar

Physics to Meta-Physics”, said Monica, trying her best to hold back her mild irritation.
     
    “So what have the Nine Unknown got to do with Shambala, love? How do these two add up?” asked Goose, desperately hoping that we wouldn’t have to deal with secret societies.
     
    “OK. Hold your breath, the scriptures of 99 Palms makes a direct reference to this secret society that was formed by Emperor Ashoka post the Kalinga war. You must have heard a bit of the same from Dr. Natalie Jackson that this is the secret society known as the ‘Nine Unknown’.” replied Monica, obvious of the fact that four fools were trying to fathom the research done by her four generations and trying to digest it all in four minutes.
     
    Guarded by the ‘Nine Unknown’:
     
    “We may be dealing with the supernatural here as we try to find the lost city of gold. Are we up against freaks of nature, by any chance? Is Shambala guarded by good or evil?” I asked Monica, hoping she would allay our fears.
     
    She looked at me sympathetically, fully aware of my low IQ and replied, “The ancient scriptures of 99 Palms, from what I could decipher, states that this lost city of gold in inhabited and ruled by the ‘Nine Unknown’. The scriptures of 99 Palms allude to the fact that the evolved beings were humans once, they never died, they just evolved to the next level. The 99 Palm scriptures state that right now, Shambala is being ruled wisely by Emperor Ashoka - if you are to trust my limited knowledge of the Brahmi script. One would presume that they got the leadership position just right, but I’m not so sure of the Nine unknown gatekeepers of the lost world, Chief.”
     
    Sensing our obvious discomfort about battling evil, she patiently tried to explain, “These 99 Palm scriptures clearly indicate that while converting from evil to good, from ‘Candasoka’ to ‘Dharmasoka’ , the Emperor covered himself in cloth from head to toe, dipped himself in 500 barrels of oil and kept himself ablaze for seven days while praying to Buddha and then on the eighth day he coolly had a bath, decked himself in royal regalia and went about spreading the tenets of Buddhism and love. Did he really die or did he evolve?”
     
    “True that! Nobody can survive such an ordeal. Hell! I yelp when my cigarette lighter misfires. Imagine going through an ordeal like that? A human being cannot take it”, said Hound, lighter in hand as he looked around for acknowledgment.
     
    “Yes, I would say the same. Emperor Ashoka had evolved to a higher state after his transformation and he’d became a higher evolved life form on the eighth day for he had transcended to a different plane of thought, realization and consciousness. You know of this from your visit to Dhauli Hill, but the truth according to these 99 Palm scriptures is that his physical form was a mere illusion!” exclaimed Monica.
     
    As we stared at her in utter disbelief, Monica continued, “Though 99 Palms refers to the physical location of Shambala in the Dhauladhar Mountains around McLeodgung where the Dalai Lama lives today, there are many contradicting theories around the actual location of Shambala and the place itself, probably because we still tend to think of a place in terms of a physical location alone! Some say it is under Mount Meru or Mount Sumeru and that’s mighty myopic if you ask me. It’s just one of the roads to Shambala. I’ll try to explain that to you in a bit.”
     
    “Monica, you say it is one of the roads to Shambala, can we drive down to the place in Motormouth?” asked Goose innocently.
     
    “The combination of the inner, outer and alternative selves is karmic . Unless a human being is truly evolved beyond the current imagination of man, the place can never be found. The lost city of gold is not for greedy people like you. You cannot just pimp up Motormouth and drive down to Shambala and fill up your rucksacks with gold and drive back home. You understand, don’t