Free Rocked with Passion (A New Adult Rockstar Novel) by Lila Lacroix Page A

out to him. Instead, I moped in self pity, torturing myself as I repeated the day through my mind. Was it something I’d done? If I’d done things differently, would Kevin maybe not have cheated on me? Could I have done anything to prevent it?
    When the plane finally landed I was forced to concentrate on grabbing a cab, forcing the torturous thoughts from my head. I went straight home to my apartment and collapsed into bed. I was so exhausted, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and didn’t wake up until late the next morning.
    Groggily, I got up the next day, unpacked my suitcase which I had never even opened in Ohio, had a shower and got ready to go meet Jonathan. I showered for a long, long time. I guess in my head I imagined that if I scrubbed myself clean it might erase how I felt. But no, when I finally got out and dried myself off I still felt the same as before.
    John was waiting for me at the front of my building. I said hi and got into the car, pretending nothing was wrong. If John knew anything had happened, he didn’t show it. I wondered where we were going, and eventually realized John was taking me to the recording studio. It made sense, after all, the band’s first single from the new album was about to drop, and they were putting a lot of the finishing touches on the rest of the album. I wasn’t unhappy with this, at least it meant the whole band and some of the supporting crew would be around, Jonathan and I wouldn’t be alone.
    It felt strange, in a way, going back to work as if nothing had happened. I kept having to remind myself that I was the only one who knew what I had done the day before, and that no one else knew I had gone back to Ohio. Apart from Jonathan, everyone treated me as though nothing had happened. And really, to them, nothing had happened. Jonathan on the other hand, would glance at me from time to time, as though silently trying to apologize. Of course, part of not getting any time alone meant we didn’t really have time to have the conversation I wanted to avoid, which was completely fine with me.
    The DJ producing the songs they were working on today was in the studio with the band, and while I mostly sat in the waiting room working, from time to time being called in as an “outside’s opinion”, I did wonder when Jonathan and I were going to talk. After all, I couldn’t avoid him forever. The conversation was going to have to happen eventually.
    A couple of hours had passed, and while I was making phone calls in one of the far rooms Jonathan came in. He sat down on a chair and waited for me to end my call before speaking.
    “We’re just taking a quick break, so I thought I’d come out here so we could talk” he told me, sitting on the other side of the chair. I nodded. I wasn’t really sure where this conversation was going. I didn’t know what I wanted to tell Jonathan. I had never felt so confused in my life.
    Honestly, I was pushing down a lot of pain. I had loved Kevin, and I’d been with him for so long, thinking we would have been together forever that his betrayal really, really hurt me. It’s sort of felt like I’d been punched in the gut, but rather than passing the pain was always there. It was like a constant, dull throb reminding me always of walking in on Kevin and that other woman.
    One of the things Sally had told me was that going back to work would get my mind off things. I could still feel the pain of Kevin’s betrayal, but at least when I was back in Los Angeles work mostly kept me from thinking about him constantly. She was right about that least. For most of the morning I found I’d been thinking almost exclusively about Jonathan. I didn’t have too much of a chance to think about Kevin at all.
    “Look, Sally. I don’t really know how to start this. I just wanted to say...”
    Jonathan trailed off as Eric walked into the room. He closed his eyes and sighed, the interruption obviously bothering him. I was a bit frustrated as