Free Rocked with Passion (A New Adult Rockstar Novel) by Lila Lacroix Page B

well, since if this was a conversation that had to be had, I kind of wanted it to be over sooner rather than later.
    “Hey, Jonny, were getting started again in there if you want to come” Eric mentioned.
    “Yeah man thanks, see ya in a sec” Jonathan replied.
    “Sorry, I’ll come back out and chat with you later” he told me, apologetically. I just nodded, numbly.
    A few other times during the day Jonathan came in and tried to have a conversation with me, but every time we were interrupted before we managed to get anything going. Every time he apologized, and I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I was starting to get pretty pissed off. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, and to not getting to have this conversation was definitely not the sort of thing that was going to make me feel better.
    Eventually I ran out of things to do. I’d set up a few interviews for the band in the coming weeks, and prepared a press release for the new single, but when all of that was done I had nothing to do except sit in that room with my thoughts. Obviously, my thoughts turned to the pain which I had felt.
    I thought about Kevin’s betrayal once more. It was funny, it had just happened yesterday, but the memory already felt fuzzy. When it actually happened, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. But now, the details weren’t clear, and while I could remember my emotions they seemed clearer in my head than the actual actions.
    In fact, I wasn’t even 100% sure that I’d recognize the other woman if I saw her in the street today. Nonetheless, the memory hurt me deep. As I remembered how I felt as I walked into the living room and saw the boyfriend that I loved, the man I loved, with another woman, I felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart all over again.
    Tears suddenly formed in my eyes. I couldn’t help them from flowing. They came automatically, as I began to grieve for the relationship that was over, for the husband I would never have. I tried to reason with myself, tried to tell myself over and over that it was better to discover his cheating ways now than in the future, but it still hurt like hell.
    I closed my laptop, put it to one side, put my head on the table and collapsed into tears. I just had to get it all out there, cry it all out until the pain disappeared. It just hurt so god damn much. I knew I’d kissed Jonathan, and I knew I still loved Jonathan, but I also loved Kevin, and my plan had been to be with Kevin forever. Jonathan and I weren’t going to be. He might’ve kissed me with alcohol fueled passion, but he had told me we weren’t going to be together.
    I’m not sure how long I sat there crying. I know the same thoughts kept running through my head. The same memory of the betrayal, the same pain over and over like I was being stabbed continuously, all of it ran through my head time after time. It was as though I hope to that by going over time and time again I would numb myself to the pain, and it would all be over.
    My sobbing must’ve been so loud that I didn’t even notice the door open. Suddenly, Jonathan’s hand was on my back, and I popped up, surprised.
    “What? What are you doing here?” I asked, not even worried about the fact that my red, bloodstained eyes must have made me look like an old hag.
    “We just finished with the DJ. Sara, what’s wrong? What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing. It’s nothing, really.”
    “It obviously is something” Jonathan replied, getting down on his knees and taking my hands into his. He looked into my eyes, and I could see then that he cared, I could see that he cared so much. It was genuine. I wasn’t going to tell him, I was going to keep this a secret myself, but something about the way Jonathan looked at me made me spill my guts.
    The tears flowed once more as for the second time in two days I told my story. I told Jonathan about how I left after the club and went straight to the airport, I told him about how I decided to surprise Kevin by