Free Stalking the Dragon by Mike Resnick

me that the very best way to hide something is to keep it in plain sight. I think I read that in a Sherlock Holmes story.”
    â€œI have a difficult time believing that would work with elephants or tubas,” said the gremlin.
    â€œNo,” said Mallory. “But I have a feeling I know where it'll work with an eleven-inch dragon.”
    â€œWhere?” asked Jeeves.
    â€œWhere almost everyone has a small animal as a familiar.”
    The gremlin looked completely mystified.
    â€œNext stop: Greenwitch Village,” said Mallory.

C HAPTER 7
    9:21 PM –9:48 PM
    Mallory and his two companions emerged from the subway platform and stood in the chilly night air, staring at their surroundings.
    â€œThere must be two hundred coffee shops,” commented Jeeves. “Do you come here often?”
    â€œNot when I can help it,” replied Mallory.
    â€œAnd it's really filled with witches and the like?” asked the gremlin nervously.
    Mallory nodded and pointed across the street, where an ogre had just emerged from a supermarket with a slab of raw, blood-covered meat under his arm. He turned left, almost bumped into a zombie, they growled at each other, and then they continued on their ways.
    â€œI don't like it here,” said Jeeves nervously.
    â€œNeither do I,” said Mallory. “Still, I don't suppose it's any worse than Greenwich Village back in my Manhattan.”
    â€œ I like it,” said Felina, sniffing the air. “There are lots of little animals here. Fat little, tasty little, juicy little animals.”
    â€œMost of those little animals aren't what they seem,” said Mallory.
    â€œIf they're big animals in disguises, there'll just be that much more to eat,” said Felina.
    â€œJust stay close,” said Mallory.
    â€œWhat do we do now?” asked Jeeves.
    â€œNow we hunt up someone who can help us,” said Mallory, walking down a street that led him deeper into the Village.
    After they'd gone a block, a goblin stuck his head out from between two decrepit buildings.
    â€œ Pssst! ”
    â€œWe're not buying any,” said Mallory.
    â€œBut you don't know what I'm selling,” said the goblin.
    â€œWhatever it is, we don't want any.”
    â€œNot even the hottest pornography ever printed?” said the goblin.
    â€œGo away,” said Mallory.
    â€œUh…let's not be too hasty,” said the cell phone. “Ask how much he wants for it?”
    â€œFor you, seventy-three dollars,” said the goblin.
    â€œThat's outrageous!” said the cell phone.
    â€œOkay, keep your shirt on,” said the goblin. “Since it's after closing time, thirty-four dollars.”
    â€œForget it,” said Mallory.
    â€œAnd because it's Valentine's Day, I'll knock the price down to four dollars. Share it with a loved one.” The goblin paused. “In fact, you'd better bring her along.”
    â€œWhy?” asked Jeeves curiously.
    â€œIt'll take two people to carry it.”
    â€œA porn book?”
    â€œWell, it's disguised as the Oxford Dictionary,” said the goblin. “But all you have to do is pick out the right words and put them in the proper order, and voilà! you've got something that'll be even more outrageous than Fanny Hill , The Autobiography of a Flea , and even The Congressional Record .”
    Mallory turned to Jeeves. “Let's go.”
    â€œ Wait! ” cried the gremlin. “I've got a nude Raquel Welch calendar!”
    â€œShe never posed for one,” said Jeeves.
    â€œTriple your money back if I'm lying.”
    â€œLet me see it,” said Jeeves.
    The goblin held up a calendar with a photo of a dumpy redhead who was working on her second half-century.
    â€œAnd that's supposed to be Raquel Welch?” demanded Jeeves.
    â€œAbsolutely.”
    â€œThey ought to arrest you for fraud.”
    â€œI never said it was the Raquel Welch,” said the goblin defensively.