Free Adam by Ariel Schrag

rather have sex with Alice than Lara?”
    â€œWell, maybe not, but . . .”
    Everyone laughed.
    â€œThis is why Dana got cancer,” said someone else. “Karma.”
    This time no one laughed. There was an awkward silence and then the opening credits blasted on the screen, and everyone started singing along to the theme song.
    Adam was the only one not singing. He shifted uncomfortably.
    A title card read, SEVEN MONTHS LATER , as two women, one with a giant headscarf, strolled down the street.
    â€œUm, can we talk about Dana’s outfit?” someone said.
    â€œJust because you’re bald and wear a headscarf doesn’t mean your entire wardrobe has to become Africanized,” said someone else.
    This one got a couple chuckles.
    The screen cut to a girl pinning up a flyer that read: ’80 S TRANS PROM—TOP SURGERY BENEFIT PARTY.
    The entire room exploded.
    â€œWhat the fuck?! What the fuck?!” said one girl. She stood up from her seat on the floor. “
My
benefit was a prom theme! They totally stole that!” The girl whipped out her cell phone. “Get me Ilene Chaiken’s phone number.”
    Everyone laughed more and the girl sat down. Adam looked back at the TV, totally confused. Now a guy and a girl were pinning up flyers together. Apparently this was not a show you could just jump into midway.
    â€œOK, I’m sorry,” said someone on the couch. “But we need to talk about Max’s facial hair.”
    â€œYou mean the Brillo Pad glued to his chin?”
    More laughter.
    â€œI mean,
what the fuck
, I’ve been on T for six months, and I’ve got, like, seven hairs! Max has been on it for, eh, a week and a half—full-grown beard.”
    â€œThat shit wouldn’t look normal on a bio guy.”
    â€œCis guy.”
    Adam peered through the dark at all the lesbians, their faces flickering in and out of the TV light. Now that he was really looking, he saw that a bunch of them had facial hair. What was going on? Was everyone here some kind of
hermaphrodite?
Wasn’t that supposed to be really rare?
    â€œI still think Shane is hot,” someone said. “I don’t care if it’s not cool.”
    â€œ
Carmen
is hot. Look at her.”
    The girl on the screen
was
hot. She had huge tits and was wearing a really low V-neck, and you could see her bra strap. When were they going to get to the sex already? The screen cut back to a hospital.
    Adam heard his sister’s voice calling out next to him. “So Max
wants
to get his breasts removed, but Dana
has
to get her breasts removed. Symmmmmbolism.”
    Everyone laughed and through the dark Adam saw Casey beam. She was leaning against Boy Casey, who had draped his arm over the couch behind her. June was separated from them by one person.
    Adam turned back to the TV. A woman and man floating in a swimming pool, each holding babies, were talking.
    â€œFucking Tina, I always knew she’d turn straight,” said someone.
    â€œAt least that means she’ll be off the show next season.”
    â€œSeriously, no one wants to watch Tina trolling for dick.”
    Adam wrapped his arms around his knees, hunching into himself.
    The screen cut to a party, and there was another full-room attack of laughter. A woman wearing a white tank top with TRANNY PROM on it was dancing on a table.
    â€œLord have mercy,” said Schuyler.
    The cancer woman was talking to a guy about how much she used to love her breasts.
    The girl sitting next to June sighed loudly. “I told my aunt I was getting top surgery, and she was like, ‘
Why?
I
love
my breasts!’ I was like, ‘Well, I don’t. I’m a
guy.
’”
    On the screen, the guy with the Brillo Pad facial hair butted into a girl and a guy dancing and yanked the girl away, shouting at her.
    â€œOh, that’s fucked up,” Boy Casey’s voice called out. “I bet they’re trying to say that