Free The Remedy Files: Illusion by Lauren Eckhardt Page B

me if I told you more about my community? Or what if I told you I had a pairing?”
    I try to imagine Gavin in the context of spending time with another woman that he goes home to talk with, another woman that he tells everything to. I don’t want to picture it. I can’t believe I never thought of this before. He’s been an adult for years. I’ve been so stupid to not realize this earlier.
    When I don’t answer immediately, Gavin asks, “What do you want, Evangeline?”
    I don’t like how he uses my full name sometimes. He came up with the nickname and it’s grown on me. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Even if I knew the answer, Impetus decides everything.”
    “No.” Gavin stops walking, turns to me, and puts his hands on both sides of my face. “No, they don’t have to decide everything. What do you want?”
    I look into Gavin’s eyes and the growing intensity behind them. “It doesn’t work that way, Gavin. Not in my world.”
    “Just stop and think if it did work that way. What do you want? It’s an easy question. Just think about it. What have your dreams shown you?” Emphasizing each word, he asks again, “What do you want?”
    I pull away from his hands. I knew he would bring up the dreams. “No, that’s stupid. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have control over it.”
    “What if you do?” He argues back. “What if you do, then what?”
    “What are you talking about? I don’t understand why you want to play all these hypothetical games all the time. It’s not reality so why even debate it. Everything for you sure seems to have worked out just fine, though, huh? Tell your pairing hello for me.” Dropping the vine, I turn on my heel and run through the trees all the way back to Impetus, not stopping until I get to the thickets where I pause to catch my breath. 
    I hate that Gavin challenges me on the way my community works. It works. The system works. I have to think of it as “my community” because days like today, he makes it clear that he only sits on the outside. He has his own life, and I have mine. It’s a reminder that it’s a place where Gavin obviously doesn’t belong.
    However, in my world that has been stretched outside further than just Impetus ever since I met him, he does belong. Throughout the years, Gavin has grown to be a very important part of my life, and I don’t like to think of it without him.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

 
     
     
     
    CHAPTER 9
 
    I near the thickets to the community entrance and slow my steps to be able to slide in undetected. As I crawl through, I hear voices. Stopping, I hold on to the branches so they won’t move, and listen intently to the conversation. There are two male voices that I have never heard before. I try peering through the bushes but can’t identify any faces.
    “Did he see you?” asks one.
    A much deeper voice replies, “No, he had his back turned to me. It’s definitely him, though. That’s not the first time I saw him in that same place. It’s too close. It has to be him.”
    “Did you see anyone else? He can’t be doing this all on his own. Do you really think he would try to come back?” the voice sounded strained. “We can’t have that. If someone saw him… There would be consequences.”
    “Sir, if it’s with your permission, I can take care of him. No one would have to know.”
    What does that mean? Take care of him? I’ve heard that line in old movies that the Community will play during its Quarterly Evening Under the Lightstones event over the years. Ones that show how bad The Before actually was as captured in films they used as entertainment. When that line was used, it was never used for good.
    “I thought you already did.” The other man snaps. “Apparently you didn’t get it right the first time.”
    There is hasty silence. The stillness goes on for way too long. Suddenly, it is interrupted by the beeping of my wrist monitor. I clasp it quickly with