Free The Rake's Rainbow by Allison Lane

before he fled the room. Thus she did not worry when his evening’s study lengthened so that she fell asleep long before he stumbled up to bed.
    On his part, Thomas had been shocked when he’d returned early to the manor. The last thing he had expected was finding that his wife was an accomplished musician. Not that he disliked music. To the contrary. Alicia was an exquisite pianist, and he had spent several memorable evenings listening to her entertain guests. This was yet another thing he had banished to a mental attic when he lost her. He could never enjoy music again.
    His first thought upon hearing the concerto was that an angel had dropped in to pay its respects, immediately followed by the painful memory of Alicia’s golden head bent over a keyboard. Worse was the realization that the musician was his wife, his ears proclaiming her more accomplished than anyone he had ever heard.
    He fled.
    How could he entertain such an idea?  Alicia was the most exquisite musician in the world, better than the most talented professional. She could charm the birds from the trees or induce the stars to dance in the heavens. Caroline could not be that talented. It was merely shock that she played at all. Anger burst through him. She should have mentioned this. Her secrecy was hardly in keeping with her agreement to be honest. Instead, she had sprung her skills as a surprise, forcing him to make the comparison he had sworn to avoid.
    Confusion reigned.
    He was still young, and though he had enjoyed countless women in his five-and-twenty years, he understood little of the fair sex beyond the purely physical and still considered life in absolute terms. From the beginning he had known Alicia was perfect, an angel surpassing all others – her beauty unmatched, her wit enchanting, her talents divine. His acceptance of a leg-shackle was possible only when he decided to admire her from afar while he gouged out life with an imperfect wife. But perfection was impossible for a mere mortal. To find others with abilities that even approached hers reduced Alicia to human terms and revealed his own foolishness. Thus came his anger at Caroline for shaking Alicia’s pedestal. He had reconciled his loss and accepted his fate, but his wife was unwilling to live a life of relative contentment. She chose to challenge his love head-on.
    The illogic of this idea never occurred to him. How could she challenge someone whose existence remained unknown to her, for he had also been less than honest, neglecting to mention the love of his life. But he could no longer keep them separate. Neither could he allow his wife to surpass his love. That would call into question the legitimacy of his continued adoration and turn his agonizing debauch into a childish tantrum, affronting his honor.
    He remained in the library, morosely drinking and pondering his life. Again, he relived the agony of the past year, now worsened by a new awareness of just how permanent marriage was. And how far from utopian. Unwilling to question his own actions, unable to accept an imperfect Alicia, he could only blame Caroline.
    His initially favorable impression had now swung in the other direction. She was too secretive. And far too retiring. Her refusal to introduce herself to their fellow passengers had resulted in their forced marriage. Her reticence concerning her accomplishments was causing untold agony. Though he had established a policy of open honesty, she clung to her secrets. What devil had forced him to wed someone bent on making him miserable? 
    And why had he been so anxious to accept her partnership?  He had rushed his fences unpardonably in trying to befriend her before she had proved herself worthy. He knew little about her. How could he assume that she deserved his friendship?  Now he was faced with the unpleasant chore of pushing her to a suitable distance. Too bad he was tied to Crawley... Of course, he could always manage some business trips. Setting up a breeding