Free No Alarms by Bernard Beckett

crap and pretending to answer questions from some old photocopied worksheet. Trish had gone back to being Ms Black. Friendlier than most teachers, and not so uptight, but still a teacher.
    ‘Um.’ Mark produced an envelope from his jacket pocket but didn’t hand it over.
    ‘Give it here. I’m in a hurry.’
    But his hands only tightened around it.
    ‘We need to talk about it I think. To check it’s alright.’
    ‘Did you put what I said in?’
    Mark nodded.
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘Good. You’ve done your job then. Now piss off.’
    Sharon snatched the envelope and stared at Mark, daring him to say anything more. He didn’t. Not with words anyway. His face said something though, something Sharon couldn’t quite read. Just before he turned away, she was sure she saw a tear forming.
    Sharon took out the list and sat back on her bed. It would pass the time, stop her thinking how much she’d hate Kaz if she was back so late it ruined things with Justin. Mark had done the whole thing on computer so it looked like something official, like one of those letters of complaint the school was always sending. The swear words looked out of place, all typed up like that, wearing their Sunday Bests. Not too bad though, Sharon had to admit. It was close to the way she wanted to sound.
     
    THINGS I HATE
     
    I hate feeling stupid.
    I hate the guys Kaz brings home.
    I hate the girls at school who get pregnant and leave and then come back later to show off their babies, like they’ve done something clever. Shit, I could do that. Anyone could do that. It’s not like it’s hard, finding some loser to screw you.
    I hate everyone who thinks they’re better than me.
    I hate rules.
    I hate running out of cigarettes.
    I hate those guys who never look you in the eye, like they think you’re the biggest piece of trash they can imagine. But then other times, when they don’t think you’re watching, they’ll be letting their eyes wander all over you, trying to get a look up your skirt if they can, like them hating you doesn’t matter at all.
    I hate teachers.
    I hate people who think you’re stupid just because you don’t like school, like there aren’t any other choices.
    I hate waiting.
    I hate people who aren’t straight with their friends.
    I hate people who think they’ve got special rights, just cos they’re older than you, even though most of what they say is crap, cos they’ve spent all their lives being stupid.
    I hate people dissing Kaz. She’s okay.
    I hate posers.
    I hate people who use words to tangle you up, so you have to cut your way out.
    I hate people who give in.
     
    Sharon read over the list twice, trying to work out the feelings it gave her. Feeling shamed, that she’d ever thought about putting stuff like that down on paper, where it didn’t belong. Feeling small, when she thought what Trish would think if she read it. Feeling excited too, because second time through it didn’t sound too bad. Trouble was it wasn’t like just saying stuff, where you could take it back or cover up and try to change the topic. She put it on top of her drawer and made a deal with herself. If tonight went okay, if she managed to impress Simon, then it was a sign. A sign she was meant to hand it in.
    • • •
    Kaz was late back, no surprises there, bursting in on a cloud of cigarette smoke and obscenities.
    ‘Had to wait half a fucken hour in the fucken rain didn’t I,cos none of those bastard taxi drivers will come out here after dark, lazy mothers. Then Sandy offers me a ride with Lance only he’s half pissed and has to drive round the back of the fucken valley doesn’t he?’
    Worst thing was it was all probably true, because there was always something getting in the way of the life Kaz tried to pretend she was leading. Even though it was the sort of stuff anyone else’d see coming, the way Kaz saw it nothing had to be her fault exactly.
    ‘Anyway,’ Kaz had finished drying her hair off on Zinny’s pyjamas, that