Free Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons or Duct Tape by Marsha Petrie Sue Page A

Personally, I am not going to what-if myself into a frenzy. Let’s make a pact right now. I know as two professionals we can do this, Jonathan!” Jonathan frowned, and Mary nudged him. “Oh, come on. Just play along with me, okay?” Mary knew she would have to take this same approach several more times to stop Jonathan’s constant negativity. She wished he would go drag someone else down!
    Do you want some whine with that cheese?

Chapter 9 - The Planning for Toxic Spills
    A re you thinking about how hard it will be for you to change?
    Well, you are right. We are creatures of habit, and change is hard, but not impossible. Because you have continued to read this far, it must mean you are serious about managing Toxic People, decontaminating conflict situations, and resolving dogfights and cat-fights of the human kind.
    In this age of uncertainty, we must challenge the fear we feel when faced with our own change. You can’t have a plan of attack if you are fearful of retribution, revenge, paybacks, or bad outcomes.
    Decontaminating Toxic People is easy when you choose to look at current approaches, evaluate whether they are working, choose to improve, and take a risk.
    The root of the problem is that you allow fear to keep you stuck in a downward spiral of negativity, preventing you from moving into action.
    Bo, the Needy Weenie, was driving you nuts at work. You would see his car in the parking lot and want to turn around and drive home. Taking a different elevator than usual, you’d walk all the way around the office to delay your inevitable encounter with Bo, and then, wham! Just when you thought it was safe, the Needy Weenie would show up. Bo would start in with all the problems of the world. You’d feel like your hair was on fire and want to run away screaming.
    Start to plan your responses today. Don’t delay. Don’t just think of using one strategy when you plan. Have a variety of approaches. That way, no matter how the conversation changes, you are prepared and ready to neutralize any toxin that is introduced.
    Jay couldn’t sleep at night, because his thoughts kept returning to rumors of reorganization and merger that had been floating around the office for days. What would he do if his job was eliminated? How would he make ends meet and feed his family if he had to take a lesser job? He had so much time invested! What to do? He was angry, anxious, and depressed, and the toxic juices flowed in his body. The stress was affecting his job performance and his personal relationships. He was sick both mentally and physically!
    Every company either has reorganized or is thinking of reorganization. Most employees do not take the time to plan how to market themselves, so they live under the cloud of the “being laid off”
    fear. Why? Because it takes energy, time, and focus to plan for their next position. Don’t get caught in this rut. Take time today and plan for your next job, just in case. Here are six tips to manage the “reorg blues”:

Get a newspaper, study ads for jobs similar to yours, and determine your fair market wage. You should do this at least every six months anyway! What is your market value?
Go online to the many web sites available and look for your current position to verify your salary and benefits. Oh, I know—no one has a job like yours. Just come close!
Identify the job of your dreams and determine which companies offer this type of position. Really, think big. If it were a perfect world, what job would you take?
Update your resume so it reflects the nuances of today’s marketplace. People want to know what you can do for them, not what you’ve done in the past! Identify what you bring to the party and how you can help the company succeed. Soft skills and hard skills should be included.
Find an interesting company? Do your research on its financials, core values, mission, and goals. Can you live with them? Do they match your set of standards or at least come close?
Keep sniffing around.