Free Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons or Duct Tape by Marsha Petrie Sue Page B

Most people will never do this, because planning takes time and energy. Don’t get lazy. Start this process today.
    I challenge you to be ready: If you wind up in a situation that is intolerable because of Toxic People, be ready to bail. Otherwise, you’ll become the Toxic Person.
    I am convinced people become toxic and drag down the rest of the team because they are unhappy. They want everyone around them to feel miserable, too.
    Managers don’t put into place actions that can be used with these bad apples. They transfer them to someone else’s work area and say things like, “They will be just perfect on your team. We just never developed the chemistry.” That is probably because the bad apple created a toxic spill, and the manager never learned how to clean it up. Instead of evaluating the person and planning for improvement, managers complete glowing evaluations simply because they don’t have the guts to broach the subject. They don’t know how to tell Toxic People the truth and put them on an improvement program. Managing fear is very simple. Learn where it comes from and how to deal with it.
    In addition, it’s not always the manager’s place to clean up the toxic spill. It is everyone’s responsibility to learn how to manage these people. So, stop pointing fingers and making excuses.
    Jane was ticked off once again. Maryann had been reassigned to her team. The last time this happened, the results were deplorable. Jane decided to take action. She approached the team members and had them determine “rules of engagement and expectations.” She put each of the individuals in charge of keeping within the parameters they had set.
    When Maryann fell back into her old habits of not doing her job, one of the team members would notice the behavior and approach her. It wasn’t a personal approach or attack; the rules of engagement were simply being addressed.
    Successful people apply strategies that lessen the fear of the future and what it can (and probably will) afford them.
    SEPARATE CAUTION FROM FEAR
    Caution is an intelligent response to a real threat. Fear is an exaggerated response to an imagined or inflated threat. For example, have you ever seen Toxic People explode when they don’t get their way? Your fear heightens when you know you are the one who must approach these human volcanoes with information that runs contrary to what they want. The trick is to know you have practiced communication skills, bolstering your confidence for the approaching conversation.
    When you feel helpless, remain calm and take an outsider’s view to accurately assess the level of true danger. Have an out-of-body experience and look from the outside in; then take reasonable precautions. Example: Your internal language of “What if . . .” can push you into bone-chilling fear. What are you saying to yourself? Are your words instilling fear? Do you feel fearful because your perception of the situation is distorted? Force yourself to proceed with caution.
    “Here we go again,” Vern thought to himself. “The last time I had to address the group, Elizabeth nailed me! What if I screw up again?
    What if I get kicked off this team? What if I lose my job? What if I can’t find a new one? What am I going to do?” Vern stopped himself, knowing he was sending himself into a downward spiral.
    BE OPTIMISTIC
    Fear is selfish—yes, selfish, because it turns you inward. When you take responsibility for your outcomes in a positive fashion with your work groups, your friends, and even total strangers, it forces you to turn outward. Example: Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, but rather than surrender to the fear that accompanies the diagnosis of a progressive neurological illness, he used his celebrity stature to become a leader in the efforts to find a cure for Parkinson’s. Would you be able to do this? If you question your ability to turn toxic situations into more positive outcomes, you need to improve the