Free Tristan (The Kendall Family #1) by Randi Everheart

the breakup that ever being together again may be impossible anyway.”
    Tristan’s heart clenched, a rush of despair stealing air from his lungs. He didn’t want to draw another breath, as if to do so would allow time to advance and make this sentiment a reality he couldn’t escape. He didn’t know it, but his pained expression was the same look he’d put on Victoria’s face five years earlier. Seeing his reaction, she intertwined their fingers. Their eyes met, and in her gaze he saw understanding. And a hint that she hadn’t meant to say all hope was lost. He finally breathed in and out slowly, squeezing back.
    Tristan said, “I’m so sorry to have hurt you by breaking up with you, sweetheart. I was certain you would’ve be hurt more by staying with me, and that you would’ve come with me anyway and it would’ve ruined us. At least this way, there was always a chance we’d reconnect.”
    She arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I’d wait for you, did you?”
    He flushed. She saw it and frowned.
    “Only if you wanted me back,” he replied.
    “And if I didn’t?”
    “Well, that would’ve broken my heart and you could’ve had some revenge.”
    “Revenge isn’t really my thing, and I’d never intentionally hurt you.”
    “I know. I’d never intentionally hurt you either. I knew breaking up would hurt, but I thought it was the lesser of two evils. You must believe me.” He came around the table and knelt beside her, kissing her cheek. She kissed him back and he took that for acceptance.
    After a moment, he asked dubiously, “So do you think you could watch me race now?”
    She let out a big breath and hesitated to answer. “I don’t know. The idea doesn’t bother me as much, certainly.” She bit her lip. “See, it’s the same thing as before. I don’t want to say that I can’t do it and then have you talk about giving it up for me or something, because that would make me feel guilty. I’d feel like I’m being unsupportive.”
    “That’s why you hid your reactions before.”
    “Yes.”
    He gave her a hug. “You know, in a way, that’s very sweet.”
    “But?”
    “But you were hiding the truth. When I found out, I was upset that you hadn’t told me, and that you weren’t letting me support you. And that I was having that impact on you. So later when I wanted to go off racing, I knew it would be even worse, your reactions, your lying about it.”
    She flushed at the accusation of lying, even though it was true. “I hadn’t meant to lie, sweetie. I guess either way, someone was upset.”
    “Right. I figured the relationship had to end even though that would hurt both of us. It would be a onetime pain that was worse, but after that we could both move on.”
    “I could never move on from you, Tristan. I never really did.”
    His heart leapt and he kissed her. “Yeah, me either. So that brings up back to the question—can you handle me racing now?”
    “I don’t know. It’s something I have to think about.”
    “Okay. That’s fair.”
    Changing subjects to something she’d wanted to know, she asked, “Why did you come back, Tristan? Don’t say it was for me. You didn’t know I was in Comus.”
    “Well, I was suspended for a month, so I had to do something and came home. But I was hoping for at least some sign of you, or to ask your mother where you were so I could find you. I didn’t know she’d passed.”
    “Would you really have gone looking for me?” From anyone else, it would’ve sounded too good to be true.
    “To the ends of the earth.”
    Tristan sealed his sincerity with a kiss. Part of him wanted to talk about the baby, but he felt like they’d just covered some pretty heavy stuff as it was. It didn’t appear that they’d be spending a lot of time apart and he’d have other chances to talk about that. For now, he disengaged.
    “I need to go get some clothes out of my saddle bags.” Tristan rose and turned to go, then stopped, unsure if he should ask