Free Giggling Into the Pillow by Chris Bridges Page A

also no reason to discuss it here. And it's much more
natural than what she used to get up to!
    Susie: What do you mean?
    Martha: Tastes almost zactly like the toddies Jackson used to make f'r
me on Saturday nights. . .
    Meryl: I heard the boys talk about you. You used your
mouth!
    Susie: (laughing) Yup, yes ma'am, I surely
did! I heard about you from yer husband, too. He said you
didn't.
    Meryl: I am not going to dignify that with a response! Not to you and
not to him!
    Susie: That's okay, we decided you were just REpressed.
    Martha: Give me a toddy right after supper, when we was sitt’n ‘round
the fire. Right nice, it was, and he made the best ones. Especially
when he wanted me to rim him.
    Meryl: And just what is that supposed to mean, “we” decided? How
often did you two talk about me?
    Susie: Every Wednesday, while you was at choir practice.
    Meryl: Every…
    Susie: Well, not every Wednesday.
    Martha: Nope, Saturday was the night, that was hot toddy
night.
    Susie: Most Wednesdays we hardly mentioned you at all.
    Martha: Always made me two of 'em, so I could use the second to rinse
my mouth out afterwards. He was a considerate man, Jackson
was.
     
(Everyone slowly turned their attention to
Martha)
     
    Martha: (dignified) You don't think I'd rim
somebody stone sober, do you?
    Meryl: What…?
    Susie: It's a mouth thing, you wouldn't understand. (to Martha) Did you
really?
    Martha: Honey, Jackson was in his 80's. I had to rim him for a good
half-hour just to make it stick far enough out to pee! (she and Susie break into giggles) Then on Sunday nights…
    HI: So would you say that sex has always been with us, but our
attitudes and comfort level have changed?
    Meryl: Oh, fuck off.

     

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Valentine's
For One
     
Valentine's Day! Most romantic of holidays, a day
(and night) to celebrate the powerful relationship you've forged,
with hard work, love and communication, with your significant
other(s). Sure, it's a combination of several pagan holidays and
Roman bacchanalian celebrations hammered together and relentlessly
pushed at you by soulless corporations to sell greeting cards,
candy and roses, but is that any reason not to go with it? Love it
up!
However, there are those of you who will be alone on
this day. You may be single, or widowed, or your lover may be
unavoidably occupied very far away. Many of you feel Valentine's
Day to be a mockery of your solitude, an insult added to your
injury. I say thee nay! Valentine's Day is meant to be a
celebration of love eternal, no matter what your immediate social
situation may be. Spend it with the one you truly love! The one who
will never leave you, no matter how bad things get. The one you can
say anything to, the one you can touch wherever and whenever you
want without fear of awkwardness or misunderstanding, the only one
in the world that truly understands you and loves you anyway. Your
dog.
For those of you who have no pets, spend the day
loving yourself. Take a 24 hour period and cherish yourself the way
you were meant to be. Learn to love the person who truly owns your
heart.
     
First thing in the morning, welcome yourself with
breakfast in bed. Granted, you won't have the element of surprise
you might ordinarily, but you'll get to enjoy both the
little-sneaky-kid feeling of doing something special and the
wonderful feeling of being pampered. Bring your tray back to bed,
cuddle up under the blankets and watch cartoons while you
dine.
Be sure to get up early enough to get ready.
Remember, you're going out tonight! Groom yourself thoroughly —
brush, shave, pluck, tweeze, shape, wipe, whatever you'd do for
your hottest date. When you shower, however, take your time. Soap
yourself thoroughly, letting your hands roam over and down your
curves, no matter how many curves you have (or don't have). Close
your eyes and relish in your touch — let your slippery hands slide
along your throat, brush your nipples, glide down your stomach and
slip between