Free When I Was Five I Killed Myself by Howard Buten Page B

brat.”
    â€œBrat. B R A T. Brat.”
    Miss Iris asked Marion Parker roam.
    â€œCould you use it in a sentence, please?”
    â€œYes. I like to roam.”
    â€œRoam. R O A M. Roam.”
    Miss Krepnik asked Tommy Halsey bicycle.
    â€œBicycle. B Y—.” But he knew he goofed. He almost started to cry and sat down.
    Miss Krepnik asked Ruth Arnold bicycle.
    â€œCould you use it in a sentence, please?”
    â€œYes. I have a bicycle.”
    â€œBicycle. B I C Y C L E. Bicycle.” She spelled it smiling. I hate Ruth Arnold, she is always the teacher’s pet because she is so smart and plays the violin. Once I asked her a riddle:
    â€œReading and writing and racing on Mars.
    Can you spell it without any r’s?”
    Ruth Arnold couldn’t. So I told her, “I T. It. Ha ha.” To be candid, I would like to kill Ruth Arnold. One time in Social Studies she told on me because I was showing Shrubs how to make it look like you’re pulling your thumb off. I got sent out in the hall and had to miss a test and then Crowley gave me an E on it, and I wasn’t even talking. (It was pantomime. We learned it in Homeroom in a Unit entitled “Let’s Put On a Play!”)
    Miss Iris asked me autumn. I spelled it easy, I didn’t even ask for a sentence. But Ruth Arnold raised her hand and said, “Miss Iris, that isn’t fair because it hasthe word autumn right on the bulletin board. It says on the papers, ‘An Autumn Poem.’ Burt made the bulletin board, he saw.”
    â€œI did not, you lie!” I said.
    â€œThat was not a signal to talk,” said Krepnik. But she said Ruth Arnold was right and Miss Iris had to ask me another word.
    â€œWell just a minute, Helen,” said Miss Iris. “I don’t think it’s fair that Burt should have to spell an extra word. Besides, he didn’t put those papers up there, I did. He just put up the bulletin board.”
    â€œThen I’ll give the word,” said Miss Krepnik.
    â€œYou will not,” said Miss Iris. She was turning red and all the children stared.
    â€œLook, it’s on the board,” said Krepnik.
    â€œAre you crazy, he can’t see the board from there.”
    The two teachers got real angry and looked daggers at each other. Then Miss Iris said that if anyone was going to ask me another word it would be her. So she asked me alternate.
    â€œCould you use it in a sentence, please?” I said.
    â€œYes. The teachers who give the words at a Spelling B are supposed to alternate.”
    â€œAlternate. A L T E R N A T E. Alternate.”
    Then Miss Krepnik asked Joan Overbeck destroy. And Miss Iris asked Irving Klein neglect. And Miss Krepnik asked William Gage wholesome, but he got it wrong, only he wouldn’t sit down. Miss Krepnik said to sit down but William wouldn’t, he just stared at the floor. He didn’t want to be out. So Miss Iris said,“William, Honey, listen. These are the rules and we’ve got to obey them. There will be other chances for you next semester. I bet your parents will be very very proud of you when they hear how far you got.” Then William sat down and Miss Krepnik looked daggers at Miss Iris again.
    Then it was Jessica’s turn. Miss Iris asked her receive but Jessica looked like she didn’t hear.
    â€œJessica.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œReceive.”
    â€œReceive what?” said Jessica. Everybody laughed. Krepnik got real mad. “Receive is your word, young lady. Spell it please.”
    â€œI T.”
    â€œJessica, maybe you would prefer to go straight to the office and forfeit your right to be in this Spelling B,” said Krepnik. “Is that what you want? Do you think your parents would find that amusing?”
    Miss Iris said, “Jessica, either spell the word or you may take an E in spelling for the whole semester. Is that clear?” She was mad too.
    But I thought something. That