Free Wherever the Dandelion Falls by Lily R. Mason Page A

remarkably well-read, and that was just one more thing on the long list of boyfriend-material traits he possessed.
    When we came to the intersection of Broadway and Columbus — where all the strip clubs are — he kept his gaze directly ahead and asked what it was like to move out to California from the Midwest. Uncomfortable under the glare of the neon signs, I babbled about the different shops and the linguistic differences — cart instead of buggy, soda instead of pop — until we had safely passed the clubs. He pointed out his hotel, and I felt like we were heading towards a beacon of relief. We'd have another drink and relax some more, and we'd stand an almost nonexistent chance of Faye ruining our date any further.
    And I hoped that I'd at least get a kiss from him before the night was over. I wanted to be close to him however I could. Touching his arm, holding his hand, kissing his lips.
    We had another drink and all my anger and guilt and awkwardness melted away. Keeping my attention on him was effortless. We discovered we had both taken a film class in undergrad, and we had many of the same favorite directors and genres. As our conversation went on, I found it harder and harder to focus on what he was saying as my attention zeroed in on his lips. I scooted closer to him on the couch of the hotel lounge. I had to kiss him.
    So, with bravery I didn't realize I had in me, I did. And he kissed me back. Over and over and over, and my whole body melted into his torso.
    And then we were kissing in his room and I was folding his jacket off his shoulders, tugging his tie off as I stepped out of my shoes, pushing him toward the bed. We didn't stop kissing until our clothes were strewn over the floor and we were sweaty and panting and dazed with the satisfaction of our orgasms and the relief of releasing the sexual tension between us.
    I woke up feeling my stomach twist with hunger and the excitement of possible morning sex. Morning sex is my favorite. I still felt sticky and a little sore from the night before, but I was definitely up for it. I rolled over to see if he was propositionable, remembering what had worked on Damon back in the day, but I found an empty pillow.
    Hoping he was in the bathroom, I listened for noises behind the papered wall. When I didn't hear anything, I sat up.
    His clothes were gone from the floor.
    So were his shoes.
    So was his suitcase.
    There was no note on the dresser or bedside table.
    I checked my phone.
    No messages.
    I deflated into the bed, feeling stupider than I had in my entire life.
     
     

     
    Something interesting started happening to me once Dr. Turner and I started our formal arrangement: I started feeling as though I had two bodies. Riley and Violet were fundamentally different. One was purely a sexual object and existed for the pleasure and critique of others, and one that needed food and comfort and rest. I became aware that Dr. Turner was uncomfortable with my body having the same needs as his. So, to keep my customer happy, I never ate in his presence, only drank water, and only used his bathroom when it was unavoidable.
    And above all, after our first negotiation, I never broke character.
    I went back on birth control. I figured it would be prudent, even if I was adamant about using condoms. So far Dr. Turner had been cooperative, reaching for one without needing to be reminded.
    Watching the balance of my student loans tick down faster than I thought they would was satisfying. I hadn't called my mom or dad — or god forbid, Kimi — to ask for help paying them. I was an adult making a living, and how I did that was my business.
    I came to realize that Dr. Turner was turned on when he believed he was turning me on. The more convincing I could be that I was aroused and enjoying our interaction, the more I got paid. A quick jaunt through internet boards gave me a few ideas. I tucked bottle of lube in my purse and used it to create the illusion I was wetter than I was for