Free Fahrenheit 1600 (Victor Kozol) by Jerry Weber

how my specialty works. I
operate primarily as a venture capitalist, Vic. My company invests in small
businesses that we think have a good chance of turning a profit, even if they
are not successful today.”
    “Well, you better look somewhere else Sam, this
place is rapidly going down the tubes after fifty years of continuous
operation.”
    “See Vic, this is where the optimist sees the glass
half-full and my associates and I are constantly searching for new
opportunities. It just so happens that I know this financial trends guru here
in New York by the name of Saul. Just coincidentally, while having lunch with
him, he is telling me about the great future all over the country for the
cremation business. It is already heading for 40% of all deaths and set to
climb even higher in the future.”
    “Yes, I know all of this from school Sam, but I am
too small and too broke to buy the equipment.”
    “Vic, that’s where I come in. I make a financial
model of how you will grow your business having the only cremation retort in
your town. People will like dealing with you for their cremation needs because
you have one stop shopping for them. You would be in the black in no time once
set-up and running.”
    Sam knows in reality that at $400 a pop for doing a
cremation wholesale for another funeral home and maybe $750 retail for one of
his own clients, supporting a $50,000 piece of equipment would hardly be a good
return on the investment for Vic considering the low volume of business he had.
In fact, if you factor in the gas and electricity used, the operation would be
deep in the red, unless you do hundreds of cases every year.
    “Vic, why don’t I have Saul, at no cost to you, do a
proforma for your funeral home owning a crematory, and then we can talk about
how you can finance it with some upfront loans from my company. Then you can
pay it all back with profits from operations.”
    “Sure, okay Sam. Call me when you have something,
since not much is happening around here.”
    “Oh Vic, by the way, we will need your latest
financials and tax information to make this work, can you send them to me right
away?”
    “Yes, I have some stuff here from my accountant, but
I warn you it is not very impressive.”
    Sam already has all he needs on Vic’s financials in
front of him, but he can’t let that cat out of the bag, so he responds, “Okay Vic.
You will be hearing from me soon.”
    Vic hangs up and his temporary euphoria is soon
overtaken by the sodden state of his affairs. He probably will never be hearing
from Sam again after he reads these financials, just as well anyway.

Chapter 16
    Going for the Close

    Every aspiring sales trainee is taught first you
engage the customer and answer all of their objections, and then you go for the
close; you ask for their business. In one short week after their meeting, Sam
is back on the phone to set the hook for the close.
    “Hello Vic, my good friends in accounting were able
to get your proposal together in record time, it’s what friends do for one
another, right?”
    Vic is stunned; he had no expectation to ever hear
from Sam after his tour of his mundane funeral home and decrepit garage coupled
with his poor financial statements.
    “Sam, I still don’t know, but if you think your idea
would save my business, come on over and make your pitch.”
    In two days, Sam is sitting in Vic’s cramped office
in Duryea with pictures of the cremation retorts and many colorful spreadsheets
all showing how much money the crematory would return after expenses.
    Sam begins, “In fact, we don’t even have to purchase
the thing outright, we can take a five year lease on the equipment and only
have to make monthly payments. Money you will generate from operating the
retort. It may not be a fortune at first, but you will have a solid second cash
flow to augment your funeral business. Your records show, you could really use
this injection. It’s a win, win situation for both of us; I get a new