Free Somewhere I Belong by Glenna Jenkins

person I wanted to talk to was my dad. I was sure I had seen him once before our move. But I know that if I told Larry how it had happened, he would say it had just been a dream.
    I started offering prayers up to the Blessed Virgin for Dad every evening after he died. I thought the harder I prayed, the closer he would get to heaven. At least, that’s what Father Flynn had told us soon after the accident. About a week after the funeral, I was kneeling by my bed, shivering in the cold room. My head was bowed and my hands were tightly clasped. Alfred lay snug in the bed, wrapped in a heap of blankets and Ma’s handmade quilt. I thought it would be okay if I climbed in and finished my Hail Marys under the warm covers. Then a question popped into my head. It was about what had happened between Ma and Uncle George that day. Something about her telling him she was packing us up and moving us to Prince Edward Island. Uncle George pleaded with her, trying to get her to change her mind. But Ma had already decided, and no amount of arguing could make her stay.
    I’m not entirely clear on it now, but I do remember shaking a little, feeling a bit afraid. It was not so much from the cold as it was from wondering if Ma was really going to make us move away. We had only just finished cleaning up the mess from the explosion. We had only just buried Dad.
    I got up from the floor and climbed under the covers. I put my head on the pillow and snugged up against Alfred. Normally I hated sharing the same bed with my little brother. But this time I was genuinely glad he was there because I didn’t want to be alone. Then the light in the hallway dimmed and the whole room grew dark and still. Alfred closed his mouth and steadied his breathing like he was trying to be quiet. The temperature dropped. Then a bright, misty glow appeared in the far corner of the room.
    First it hovered there like a single star lighting up the night sky. Then it got larger, and a white, translucent orb appeared inside it. When the orb stretched into a large oblong shape, I got scared and tried to nudge Alfred awake. The mist cleared and the shape got longer and narrower and drifted across the room. I closed my eyes and ducked under the covers, hoping it was a dream. When I edged the covers down, I saw Dad floating beside the bed as if he were standing on an invisible cloud. I stared in disbelief.
    Dad smiled down at me and asked a question that made me think about both sides of the issue. It was the same kind of question he would ask me during our talks, after supper, when he was still alive.
    He would be sitting with Larry, Helen, and me at the kitchen table. He liked to read the newspaper, there, while we did our homework. A question would pop into my head and I’d blurt it out. Usually it was about an incident at school that day or something I might have heard that I didn’t quite understand, something completely unrelated to the homework. Dad would sit back in his chair and ask questions that made me think about both sides of the matter.
    One time it was about an incident in the schoolyard where this big knucklehead opened my lunch tin and stole my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Dad asked me what his name was and I told him.
    â€œWhy do you think Eugene would do a thing like that, Pius James?” he asked.
    Naturally, I came out with an answer that supported my side. “Because he’s bigger than I am and a bully.”
    Dad went silent for a moment, then asked, “Do you think it’s really that simple?”
    I looked at him, confused.
    â€œWhat if I told you Eugene’s dad just got laid off his job?”
    â€œThat would be different,” I said.
    â€œOkay, so let’s say it’s true. How would you look at it now?”
    â€œI’d say Eugene maybe took my sandwich because he was hungry.”
    â€œSo how would you deal with it?”
    I shrugged my shoulders.
    â€œYour mother packs you a good lunch,