Free It's No Picnic by Kenneth E. Myers Page B

“ I can rub him out if you like. ”
     
     
     
    I T W AS T HEN M ISS K. O PENED A L APTOP .
    Now at the ready, she sat down at a desk appearing only moments ago in the center of the room, and with the mouse clicked an icon labeled INP; so opening the document. Alex watched as she began to bang out key strokes, insert, copy, delete—repeatedly—and with that, he saw the fine character that was Cap become nothing but a broad sketch of lines and edges.
    “See,” Miss K. said with glee, “Finished!”
    “So, do you know who this lord is everybody’s talking about?” Alex asked without faith or conviction.
    “Is that what the residents of Longport call me these days? I mean, all I am is a simple author; some might even say charlatan or swindler, who scribbles thoughts down on paper. The residents read it as real, silly as that may be. Although, I do like the title of lord. Lord……lord. A nice sounding appellative. But I guess I would need to change some things. Maybe this?”
    Alex watched on, confounded, speechless, as Miss K. struck the keys with fury, cranking out as it were a completely new Miss K. albeit greatly aged and with a gray beard extending from chin to midsection. Stranger still was the choice of eyes. Light points occupying dark centers.
    Then—in a low grumble, Miss K. said, “How’s this?”
    “I don’t like it. Déjà vu, I suppose.” Alex said in a disappointed tone.
    Once again, Miss K. banged and clanged at the keys seemingly returning to a once normal self.
    “Is this better?” she said.
    “You forgot something.” Alex said awkwardly.
    “Oh, yes. Mustn’t forget that.”
    A few more strokes of the keys and voilà, Miss K.
    “How stupid of me,” Alex said, “Of course, Miss K. , you’re the author of INP .”
    “So you read INP ? But I know that, don’t I?” Miss K. said.
    “Parts. Well, honestly, I just skimmed the majority. Finding most of it banal, bathetic, and bland.”
    “I tried to get you to carefully and thoroughly read the whole thing. Anyway, you know what happens, right?”
    “Yes, way ahead of you. But tell me, why Longport, horseshoes, and strange tall people?”
    “It’s all Greek to me; odysseys and all. I just write and the words come out.”
    “And me. Why was I sentenced to death of all people?” Alex said a bit annoyed.
    “Please Alex, you disappoint me. Eli, half—baked loony now residing at Sunnier Pastures. He thought you were trying to kill him for God’s sake. Need I say more?”
    “And the attendant and twins?”
    “The attendant, well, that goes without saying. The twins, they’re a device I like to give the rather long—winded name of thoughtful women in nice situations. A fancy way to throw you off, wouldn’t you say?”
    “Wow, it just occurred to me. Nadie, food for…?” Alex said, excited by the revelation.
    “Precisely nit wit. And besides, if you read this far why are you asking?”
    Alex, now trying to excuse himself said, “I guess you’ve changed it around on me a bit.”
    “Look, I’m not giving the entire thing away!” Miss K. said madly.
    “ Okay , I get it. One more question though. The ending?”
    “You mean that sappy ending where you and I fall in love, but because it turns out I’m the killer, can never be?”
    “Yeah, that ending. Of course, only if you completely rewrite the final scene where I discover you’re the killer and take you in to face justice.”
    “I suppose I could make that hack Cap pay for the sin of a murder he obviously committed.”
    Once again, Miss K. assailed, assaulted, and attacked the keys, from the looks of it trying to create an ending that was firm, fit, and flat; devoid of all things fantastic and unreal
     
    — f G o N l I d D i L n O g F—
     
    as it were, the entire scene into a single pointed whole.
     
     
     
    H ENRY K AY W OKE with brilliant sunshine in his face, so much so, it brought tears to his eyes. Looking away, he noticed a small envelope on the floor of his