Free Good for Now (Book One of The Now Series) by Rebecca J. Ryan

It is flat and hungry. I keep my body in shape mostly for Kevin. I take pleasure when he touches me all over, yet it isn’t Julie he mentions as much as Greta. I am suddenly seeing the light. What about me? Greta is happy, but how about Julie? I’m not so sure. How can I switch places with her? How can I be confident like Greta without being her?
    I get up from the towel and walk to the ocean, and Kevin is right. The water is freezing. I feel a little daring being in the rough waters, with the waves slamming into me, but I walk until I am submerged up to my shoulders. I start to swim around, my head out looking around making sure I am aware of my surrounding, and that there isn't a shark around. The once shockingly cold water feels good around my legs, my arms, my torso, causing my body to move and feel liberated.
    I turn to look behind, to the endless ocean, tempted to go further out, almost not caring if a shark were to come, but the thought of my fantasy man stops me. He is telling me to stop, turn around and swim back to shore and I listen to him. Just as Kevin has created Greta, I have created one, but the difference is mine, he’s a fantasy. He is with me when Kevin isn’t.
    Sitting on my towel, I stare out to the ocean again. It is darker than I remember it to be in Florida. I think what a miracle it truly is, how can its water just stop at shore without over flowing the earth.
    I arrive at the shore, to find a text from Kevin, saying he really isn’t feeling good, “No need to rush back.” Kevin must really not be feeling well.
    Laying back on the towel, I think of Candy Cop. He is my fantasy man, he is the one I think of when I please myself.
    It's five thirty, time to go back to the inn. The thought of a hot shower, gets me going. The salty water has dried my skin, giving it an ashy look, and I feel itchy as well. Maybe Kevin will take a shower with me. I smile feeling risky, thinking how nice it would be if it could be Julie and Kevin in the shower, and not Greta and Kevin.
    I look out to the ocean, the waves are really coming in now, pounding the shore. A nervous twitch comes over me, thinking if I hadn't come out when I did, I may have been taken out by a rip current and would have never returned to shore.
    I begin to feel rain drops. Strange, the weather didn't call for rain. I start jogging to the path not wanting to get caught in the rain, but then it stops. I start walking again, taking a deep breath of relief.
    I arrive at the inn’s gate tired. I see Nadine, buzzing around the front porch, tending to guests, seeing if they need a drink, with a glass pitcher of water and sliced lemons floating on the top in hand. I watch her smile to others, the same way she did to Kevin. I realize again, she was being who she was; Miss. Hospitality.
    I look around for Kevin, thinking he may be lounging around with the other guests, but I still don’t see him anywhere. I walk up the steps, walk through the porch to the tiny lobby, there’s a family checking in. A little girl who must be around three looks my way, then smiles. I smile and wave at her. Her mom looks at me, and says, “Sara, must really like you. She never looks at strangers.”
    “I like Sara, too. What a sweet girl she is.”
    “Thank you, do you have children?”
    “No, not yet, well have a great day. The beach is lovely,” I say, feeling nervous about the possibility.
    “Mommy, let’s go to the beach,” Sara, pleads.
    I walk away to the room. I hope Kevin's in the room.
    I arrive at the front door, I lean in and hear nothing. I unlock the door to see Kevin asleep. I see he has taken a shower, a towel is wrapped around his waist, and his hair is wet. I should take a shower, but I lay next to him, wanting to be close to him, hoping the slight movement wakes him up, but all it does is cause him to take a deep breath.
    I dare to move a little closer to him, yet we are still worlds away, because he’s asleep. I crave his touch but nothing. It