Free Legends of the Ghost Pirates by M.D. Lee

building.
    Finally, I can't stand it anymore. “That
was...ah...kinda funny, thinking the Adelaide was a ghost
pirate ship, huh?”
    Jo lets out a big sigh. “Sure was. I probably won't
be telling this story anytime soon to the gang on the dock back
home.”
    Looking down at the cockpit floor, I say, “I feel
kind of stupid about it now. It's really embarrassing.” We all
smile a little, but none of us really laugh. The only sound that we
can hear is the water rushing past the hull while we consider for a
moment about what just happened.
    Sara finally breaks the silence. “That's not so
embarrassing. Once when I was in grade school I was eating my lunch
sitting next to my friend Bev. I had just taken a big gulp of milk
when Bev said something really funny and the milk came pouring out
of my nose.”
    “Big deal,” I say. “That happens to everyone.”
    Sara continues, “That's not the embarrassing part.
When I stood up I realized milk had gone all over the front of my
pants. It looked like I-wet-myself. When I left the cafeteria
everyone was laughing and pointing at me. Even Bev was making fun
of me.”
    “That is pretty embarrassing,” I agree.
    “It took me a long time to get over it. Do you have
any idea what it's like to have everyone laugh at you?” Sara
says.
    Jo jumps in. “That's nothing. Last year I was
sitting in class, and I had to pee really bad. I mean bad . But I didn't want to raise my hand to be excused to go
to the can; everyone would've laughed for sure. So I sat and
watched the clock on the wall while I waited for the bell to ring.
I've never seen a clock move so dang slow. I thought my insides
were going to explode like a water balloon. Finally, when I
couldn't hold it for another second, the bell rang. I jumped up to
run to the girls’ room, but I got tangled up in the desk and hit
the floor. When I landed on the floor—” Jo pauses and looks at Sara
then me. “—I peed all over myself. I don't have to tell you how bad
that was. I was so humiliated I told my mom the next day I was sick
and couldn't go to school for the next three days.”
    Sara and I begin to chuckle a little. Jo smiles too
and starts to laugh also, and soon, the three of us can hardly stop
laughing.
    After a while we do stop laughing, and Sara
looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Fisher. Your turn.”
    “Wasn't the ghost pirate enough?” Sara and Jo both
shake their head.
    “Okay.” I reluctantly give in. There are so many, I
have to think of just one.
    But one story stands out from the rest. “Last year,
I was sitting in math class and we were taking a big test. The
classroom was silent. The problem was, I had a lot of baked beans
at lunch, and I had to fart—bad. Holding it in was so bad I
couldn't even work on the test. I just sat there. Then, by accident
I dropped my pencil, but the gas was so awful I couldn't even bend
over to pick it up. The teacher saw me drop the pencil and noticed
I wasn't moving to pick it up. Finally she demanded I pick it up;
so I did. I was like the Hindenburg exploding. And it was long,
too. It just kept coming and coming like when you let go of a
balloon that you're trying to fill with air. Everyone in the room
couldn't stop laughing. But that wasn't the worst part. It was one
of those really stinky ones. Like a baboon had just left a steaming
pile on the floor. It was so bad the teacher had to clear everyone
out of the classroom until the air cleared.”
    Once again we start on a laughing attack; one of
those where anything you do after that is funny no matter what.
It's too bad it wasn't that funny when all the kids were making fun
of me. It took a while, but eventually we calm down enough to
remember why we are out here in the fog.
    Sara says, “Let's keep our eyes peeled; we should be
close to the island. Fisher. Are we still on course?”
    I glance at the compass and nod. “Sara. When you
viewed the chart, what did the cove look like?” I ask.
    “It's a lot like a long