Free Changing Tunes by Heather Gunter, Raelene Green

for me to climb on.
    His breathing is heavier, and I see his hands twitch towards me before he catches himself.  I lean away and pick my jeans off of the floor to pull a condom out of the pocket.
    “Do you always come prepared?” he asks.
    I chuckle, “Always.” I rip the condom open with my teeth and take stock of the ‘toy’ I get to play with, if only for a little while.  He is big, there’s no doubt about that, and I think I’m going to have some fun with him.  I watch him watch me glide the condom down his shaft.  His excitement is mounting and I can see in his eyes just how turned on he is.  His dick twitches in my hand as I finish putting the condom on and stroke him gently a few times. I smile inwardly. He is totally under my control right now.  This is the power I love, that I crave.
    He’s ready for me.
    I stand up and climb back onto his lap, straddling his hips. He forgets my instructions from earlier and reaches forward to grab my breasts, but I stop him in midair, anticipating the move.
    “No, my rules, my way.” I say, moving his hands over his head.  I lean forward and begin to gently slide down his length, running my tongue over his lips and into his mouth as I take him completely inside me. I don’t even give him the chance to speak. Talking is way overrated, and I know exactly what he’d say, anyway, like déjà vu. 
    I continue to glide up and down, and as I hear his breathing increase I finally pick up the pace. I allow his hands to rest on each side of my waist. I feel his fingers dig into my skin, as he gets closer to letting go. I nip at his bottom lip before I lean back a little, applying pressure to create the sensation that will get me the release I sorely need. 
    “Yeah, just like that.” I say and begin moving even faster. I’m so close to orgasm.  The sensations become overwhelming and my body decides it’s time to let go.  The physical sensations and the control I have over the situation combine, and I am spiraling into bliss, feeling the relief and freedom that is not possible any other way.  Joe follows quickly behind me, and the pulsing sensation as he comes extends my pleasure.
    I don’t know what it is about an orgasm that sets me free, but I feel it every time. I think it’s being in control, and setting my own boundaries that I find freeing. I have such little control of anything in my life; this small piece of control keeps me from going insane. For just a brief moment, I’m deciding what I want and making it happen. I know the guys don’t get my ‘no touching’ rule, but they don’t need to. It makes perfect sense to me; it’s too personal, too intimate. Some would say sex is far more intimate, but not to me. It’s getting to know someone’s body, taking the time to see what one likes or dislikes. Touching is far more intimate in my mind. Sex is just that, sex. I’ve never had it with someone I loved, so I don’t know anything different.
    I gather my clothes together, and turning to Joe, ask, “Where’s your bathroom?”
    He points me in the direction and tells me where the towels are. I nod thanks and go in, locking the door. I clean up and get dressed.
    As I walk back into the living room, I notice Joe dressed only from the waist down.
    “So, can I see you again?” he asks.
    “I’m sorry, Joe, but this was a one-time thing. I don’t have sex with someone more than once.” I reply.
    “So I’m good enough to have sex with, but not to date?” he asks, a little ticked off.
    “It’s not you, it’s me. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. It’s just a rule I have, and I don’t have time to date. I’m sorry.”
    “So you screw them, and then you leave them?” He doesn’t say it unkindly, just matter of fact.
    I sigh, “Look, you’re a nice guy, and I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding someone else. This was only ever sex, nothing more. No expectations. Just sex.”
    He looks away for a moment before glancing back