Free House Arrest by K.A. Holt

home with just Levi and Mary. Third Carla Ramirez rule:
That hot water situation has to be on a higher shelf. She said she’d close the investigation,
that obviously Mom is working hard,
and I am working hard,
and Levi is working hard,
and there is no medical neglect.
I saw Mary standing in the doorway
listening in.
I saw her face twist in the shadows
like a supervillain
her look of disapproval,
her head-shakingness over the whole thing.
Fourth Carla Ramirez rule:
Find a better daytime nurse for Levi. (That’s not really a Carla Ramirez rule.
But it should be.)

    We already knew it was against the rules,
technically,
for me to be at home with Mary and Levi
without Mom.
It’s always been against the rules,
but sometimes you have to be bendy
to make things work.
Marisol was good at rule bendiness.
Marisol was good at so many things.
But now Carla Ramirez,
Flying Squirrel Social Worker Superstar,
means business.
So I’m sitting here,
on this hard and dirty concrete
listening to José’s dad
grunt and growl and curse
while José looks helplessly
at a spool of something
hanging out of the turtle car’s
wide-open trunk mouth.
I wonder what Mary and Levi are doing.

WEEK 3 2
    When it was late
and you said,
I’m off the clock. C’mon, let’s go ,
at first I thought I was in trouble.
I looked into the deepest parts of myself
to figure what new thing I’d done wrong.
But then we got there.
It was so fun, James!
I’ve never done that before.
CRACK
CRACK
CRACK
Swinging the bat so hard.
Am I really a natural?
I’ve never been a natural at anything.
Batting cages.
Who knew?
That was so fun, James.
Did you break house arrest rules
just for me?
Will you get in trouble?
Can we go again?
Yeah?

    What do I need?
Good question, Mrs. B.
I need a time machine
so I can go back
and never ever ever EVER
tell you
that we need more nursing hours.
A time machine to bring Marisol back.
A time machine to talk to Dad on that rainy night.
A time machine for so many things.
Can you do that?
Huh?
’Cause that’s what I need,
Mrs. B.

    Dear Dr. Sawyer,
OK. For real. Please write me back.
This is Timothy Davidson again.
Levi is getting sick
all the time
because of his trach
and the germs going
straight into his lungs.
Please help him not need the trach.
Have you seen Star Wars ?
Please, Dr. Sawyer,
you’re our only hope.
Timothy Davidson

    This little booger.
He will sign milk and more and please .
He will sign Mama and music .
He will sign hot and cold .
He will sign hurt .
He will sign dog when I need a haircut.
But he will not sign brother .
He just won’t do it.

    I didn’t want to say this
but I can’t get it out of my mind,
like that red dust in space
that makes big clouds around a supernova
and doesn’t move for eons,
that’s what this is doing in my brain,
sitting heavy and messy,
getting all over everything else
so that it doesn’t matter what I think.
There are little parts of this stuck inside:
Carla Ramirez,
Flying Squirrel Extraordinaire,
she said,
Looking into a facility might not be a bad idea
until you get back on your feet.
I can help
if you need me to.
You just let me know. And her card is on our fridge
held up by the magnet we got at the beach
two years ago
when we did things like go to the beach.
    â€œ
    Sofia dances through the living room
headphones on
but so loud
I can hear all the songs.
Theresa is out back kicking the soccer ball
up against the house
bang bang bang bang.
Alé’s tuba is nonstop
even during the summer
because marching band tryouts
are in a few months.
José is killing things on the Xbox
bullets ricochet off rocks and Kevlar.
I’m not interested in killing anything
not today.
I worry about Levi
home alone with Mary
without me there to hear the things,
those things that come out of her mouth.
The garage is the only quiet place,
the only place where my mind can hear itself.
But there’s already someone in the turtle