Free Metanoia by Angela Schiavone

with a separate bathroom to the side. It
seemed to be pretty old. The wood was weathered, and it did not
seem to take on a magical appearance like the other houses. A bed
sat positioned in a corner, a comfortable lounge chair in another,
and a couch on the other side of the room with a coffee table in
front of it. It actually reminded Gina of the houses back
home.
    “ Home sweet home,” Leyance
shared. “Well, at least for a few days.”
    “ Whatever.” She threw her
stuff by the bed and laid down on it, letting her legs hang over
the side. Leyance watched her. Sighing, he sat down next to
her.
    “ You don’t want to be here,
do you?” He turned to look at her. She met his glance. “I mean you
don’t want to be here with me. Well, I can’t blame you. I’ve made
you feel uncomfortable.”
    “ No you
haven’t.”
    “ You obviously know how I
feel about all of this, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you.
How do you feel?” he asked, feeling a little awkward. She sent him
a weird glance which made him feel even more uncomfortable. “It’s
just that I want you to relax, and you can’t when you are holding
all these feelings inside – or so I’ve heard.”
    “ You don’t want to hear my
problems,” she said. “Besides, when you talk to a guy about a
situation, he’s usually not involved in it.”
    “ True, but is there anyone
else who would be easier to talk to?”
    “ Not really.”
    “ Well, if you want to
talk…If not that’s fine.” With that, he went around to the other
side of the bed, sat down on it, and relaxed against the headboard.
They rested in silence for awhile. After what seemed like hours,
Gina spoke.
    “ I feel lost.”
    “ How so?”
    “ Like I
have no clue who I am. Am I Gina Cassidy: a student most of my life
who lives in California with friends and a mythology book? Or am I
Queen Regina: ruler of Nythagié and fiancé to…” she stopped
suddenly. She couldn’t say it. “I’m totally confused. I have no
sense of purpose, no sense of identity. I don’t know who I am! It’s
worse than amnesia! And you… I know you’re only trying to help, and
I can only imagine the pain you’ve gone through. The woman you love
is killed…” She shivered at the words. “And then when she actually
comes back she can’t remember you. Well, I mean if it was me, which
it isn’t but, umm, well you know what I mean.” I’m babbling like an idiot! she
thought. She rolled over to face Leyance.
    “ Anyway, I’m not making it
any easier on you I know. I’m just trying to save you the hurt in
the end. Yes, I know that doesn’t make any sense – but I really am.
I mean imagine, you, well, umm, fall for me and then your real
fiancé returns. Can you just imagine? She’d be heart broken as
would you as well as confused and it would be because of me! This
is all because of me! Why can’t this be over? There is only one
thing that can come out of me being in Nythagié – pain and
suffering. It sounds strange even as I say it, but I know it’s
true. Look at you. You are in so much pain right now. I see it. I
know you want me to love you, but only more pain can come from
that. Can you see it? Oh, and the whole thing about being a warrior
and leading battles? Yeah, news flash – we couldn’t win with me as
a leader! Everyone would be hurt or killed and it would be my
fault! What about my friends? I haven’t seen or heard them in
forever. They could be sick and I wouldn’t know. I can’t talk to
them, they can’t talk to me. What if the Übels come back into my
world? I know, it’s impossible but whatever. It isn’t as impossible
as it sounds. My world, my home. I need to go back there. Don’t you
see? I was never meant to be here. I was meant to be in the safety
of my home reading my mythology books and dreaming I was here. Oh,
I need to shut up!” She tried to stop it, but the tears started to
flow. “Now, I’m complaining and making you feel like I don’t care
about you