Free Sloane: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance Novel by Zoe Davis

it said.
     
    I felt a coldness building in response to his curt message.  That’s all he could say to me?   I was furious.  I picked up the phone and dialed his office so fast my head was spinning. 
     
    His receptionist answered and said he was in a meeting.  I had her take a message and obsessively watched my phone the rest of the evening.  He didn’t bother calling back.
     
    My blood was boiling by the time Jared came home and I couldn’t decide whether I should tell him or not.  I foolishly kept it hidden and it exploded in an attack against him later.
     
    “You want to go back to that place don’t you?” I accused him.
     
    “What place, Vanessa?”
     
    “Ethan’s swinger party, I saw your invitation.”  I crossed my arms but couldn’t look at him.
     
    “Am I not supposed to open any invitations?  I just gave it a once over and decided against mentioning it.  I knew you wouldn’t be up for it, but I’m sorry you saw it.”
     
    “Well if you want to go so badly, let’s go then.”  I knew this wasn’t about him but about me.  I was trying to see Ethan again and couldn’t wait through the weekend.  I was also unable to admit this to Jared.
     
    “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he whispered.  He moved toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders, “you’ve been through so much and were finally starting to get better.”
     
    I could feel tears clouding my eyes as I looked at him.  He held me close and his clean smell filled my nose making me nostalgic for Ethan’s woodsy scent.
     
    I almost gave up when I remembered I was still without my car.  I knew I had to confess my intentions to Jared, and convincing him I’d be okay was going to be a challenge.
     
    “I have to see him,” I admitted shamefully.  “It’s eating me alive.”
     
    I expected him to put up a fight, either to protect me or to possess me, but he just replied with, “okay.”  I kicked myself for putting him through this and for not being able to move on.  I was bruised by my own thoughts and fought sleep again all Friday night.  Every time I closed my eyes I saw my dream bull, charging at me, then laying dead.  I saw Ethan walking out on me.
     
    I bathed for the first time that week and it felt like a rebirth.  I watched ripples diffuse through the water where I laid my hands and let the patterns take the shape of my reality.  I was swimming in uncertainty and trying not to drown.
     
    Jared’s car hummed pleasantly along.  The sound of the engine wrapped around me like a shawl and I sank into the realization that I was actually going to see Ethan again.  I was too tired to be nervous and I contemplated what I would say.  I didn’t have any fucking idea.
     
    I wanted to break the silence between me and Jared but nothing I thought of was fitting.  I wanted to crack a joke to let him know this wouldn’t be a big deal, that I wasn’t about to completely lose my mind, even if I totally was.  But I looked over at him a few times and he just stared blankly ahead at the road in front of him.
     
    I wondered if he was breaking down, if he feared losing me.  I had no plans to leave him, but I had no plans at all so far.  I just flew down that country road in the dark, wearing a deep blue dress for Ethan, and everything, the trees and the AC, were stirring around me.
     
    Jared’s hands seemed tense around the steering wheel and his composure rattled me into worry.  I felt selfish and cruel.  I comforted myself by one thought.  If he was truly upset, he’d say something .  But I had quickly forgotten his nature.  He was always cool under pressure.
     
    In a matter of seconds the car slammed forward to a halt, and my seatbelt dug into my chest.  I looked up to see the damage and was caught in the gaze of a wild deer.  She was frozen in our headlights and her eyes held a universe worth of stars, sparkling back at me.  Her tiny nose wrinkled trying to figure us out without being