Free This Time by Kristin Leigh Page B

grown-up things, honey. Nothing for you to worry about.” Tara finished her last piece of chicken and started cleaning off the table.
    “Can I help, Mommy?” Madelynn asked, picking up the container of mashed potatoes and trying to fit the lid on.
    “Yes, sweetie, you can help. Thank you.” Tara ruffled her hair, wondering how much longer Madelynn would be eager to help. She knew that the years of easy companionship with her daughter were getting fewer all the time. Madelynn would be a teenager in just eight short years, and it would be years after that before the teenage hormones died down enough for their camaraderie to return. She held open the refrigerator as Madelynn proudly placed the mashed potatoes on the shelf. Tara felt a twinge in her chest as she fondly scrolled through memories in her mind of the past five years.
    Regardless of how she’d come about, Madelynn was the best and brightest thing in Tara’s life. That was something that couldn’t be bought. It was a gift, and Tara wanted to enjoy it as long as she could.
    It’s a gift that should be shared.
    For once, Tara listened to her subconscious. It was true. Michael should be part of Maddie’s life. He should get to share in the laughter and tears. He’d already missed the first five years. He shouldn’t have to miss any more. If he wanted to be part of his daughter’s life, Tara wouldn’t hold him back or begrudge him a single second. She would help him in whatever way he needed. Resolving to put aside the past, she took Madelynn through their evening rituals. First was a bath. Madelynn played with her mermaid dolls and splashed water all over the bathroom. Once she was dried off and in her pajamas, Tara set up Candyland, and they played two games before it was Madelynn’s bedtime. Snuggling down under her covers, Madelynn looked very seriously at her mother.
    “Mommy, I hope you feel better.” She yawned and wrapped her arms around Tara’s neck and kissed her cheek. “Night Mommy. I love you.”
    “Good night, Maddie. I love you too.” Tara turned off the light and closed the door. She walked into the living room and turned on the computer. Logging on, she saw that Michael was not online tonight. Tara frowned and turned the computer off. Where was he? Shrugging, she went to take a shower and go to bed. She would talk to him tomorrow.

Chapter 7
    It was Wednesday before Tara talked to Michael again. Her week went on as usual. She tried to video chat with him every night, but he wasn’t online. Surprisingly, she was beginning to worry about him. But after Madelynn was bathed and in bed and she’d taken her own shower, she logged on and was surprised to find him waiting.
    “Hi. I was getting a little concerned.” She smiled into the camera.
    He looked miserable. Black circles darkened his eyes, and he looked thinner than he had just a few days ago. “It’s going to be a while before I can talk again,” he said softly. “I’ve got some things to work through. The psychiatrist won’t discharge me yet, and she’s right.” He scoffed. “I’m not fit to be around anyone right now, especially a five-year-old.”
    Tara stared disbelievingly at the monitor. Now he wasn’t coming? “What do you mean? You seemed fine a few days ago!”
    He pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “I couldn’t remember everything that happened, and now it’s…” His shoulders hunched and his voice broke. “It’s coming back now.” He scrubbed his hands roughly down his face, and even on a screen, she could see his eyes were bright with tears. “It’s all coming back and I…I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t think because all I see are flashes. I’ve got to work through this before I can come back. They won’t let me leave until they’re sure I won’t hurt myself or anyone else.”
    “Michael…” she began.
    He held his hand up. “Don’t. Just…” He took a shaky breath. “Just let me work this out. I don’t know how long