Free Fault Line by Christa Desir

loved.

9
    I paced outside of the ER for the next hour. Two ambulances came through and a homeless guy with a cigarette dangling from his mouth shuffled out, asking if I had a light. I wanted to scream. He had no idea what his question did to the ball of hate inside me.
    I stared too long at the electric glass door leading back to Ani, hoping any minute she might walk out. Would she even be able to walk? Someone had put a fucking lighter inside of her. The image burrowed in my brain. Had they tried to light it? I swallowed the bile in the back of my throat.
    I wanted to kill someone. I’d never felt like that in my life before, but my fists clenched and unclenched, ready to beat the hell out of anyone I could get my hands on. Ani had been raped. And maybe was too drunk to remember. Was it more than one guy? My nails bit into my palms and I glared at the door.
    Kate walked out. She looked like shit. I probably did too.
    “They got it out. She’s okay. I guess the damage wasn’t too bad. She had to get a few stitches. But it’s out.”
    I took a deep breath and leaned forward with my hands on my knees. After a minute, I looked up at Kate.
    “Can I see her?”
    “I told her you were here. She’s worried about what you’ll think of her. She’s afraid to see you.”
    I slumped onto the ground. Kate came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.
    “Beez, she doesn’t remember much and she’s blaming herself,” Kate said. “The rape counselor is trying to help her, but you know how Ani can be.”
    “That’s why I have to see her. Please, Kate.”
    Kate looked at me and shook her head. “I’ll do my best. I can’t promise anything. And the counselor told her she doesn’t have to see you if she doesn’t want to.”
    “Please.” I couldn’t leave without seeing her. I couldn’t breathe completely until I knew she was okay.
    Kate stood up and walked back into the ER. I didn’t move. Ani was afraid to see me. Me . I stood frozen for a full minute, cool wind scraping my cheeks. Finally I sat on the curb like a kicked dog. I flipped my phone open to call my mom, but shut it again. Ani didn’t even want her own mom involved with this, how could I tell mine?
    Ten minutes later the doors slid open behind me.
    “Okay, come on. She’ll see you,” Kate said.
    I got up quickly and shook myself. I tried to relax my fists. The crumbling parts of me were being held together only by my determination to help Ani. I shut my eyes and focused on my goal. I followed Kate into the pale, dingy pink walls of the ER labyrinth. My shoes squeaked as I walked past doctors and nurses. The thin old woman from earlier sat in a wheelchair now, coughing constantly.
    Ani was in a room at the end of the hall. Kate stood with her hand on the handle and searched my face. I inhaled and held my breath. Finally I nodded and she swung the door open.
    I walked in and found Ani in a white-and-blue hospital gown, curled up sideways on the bed. She looked at me and her eyes filled with tears. I opened my mouth, but then shut it. I couldn’t move.
    “What are you doing here, Bumble?” Her voice cracked.
    I did my best to half smile and stepped slowly forward. I reached the edge of her bed and pushed her hair behind her ear. I almost never saw her hair down and loose. I’d expected some bruises on her face or something, but she looked like the same Ani.
    “I came for you. Baby, what happened?”
    A strange woman wearing a Georgetown sweatshirt and jeans stepped forward and put her hand on Ani’s shoulder. She pursed her lips and squinted at me.
    “Ani’s been through this with the police already.”
    Ani touched the woman’s hand and adjusted her position in the bed so she was sitting up more. She winced and I pulled back slightly.
    “It’s okay, Beth. I don’t mind,” she said to the woman.
    The counselor didn’t even glance at me. She kept her gaze zeroed on Ani. “It’s your right to have privacy.”
    Ani nodded. “I know. But