Free Fault Line by Christa Desir Page A

Ben’s safe. He can know everything.” Her eyes shifted to me. “Beth’s the counselor. She’s been here the whole time.”
    “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked. Ani focused on her hands twisting around the thin sheet covering her. God, I was such an asshole. “Forget I said that. Don’t worry about it. I just want to help.”
    Ani lifted her eyes and tried to smile. It was pathetic and nothing like the beautiful smile she normally greeted me with. The room grew uncomfortably quiet. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and tried to figure out what to say.
    “I don’t remember very much,” Ani finally said.
    “You were pretty wasted, huh?”
    The counselor, Beth, stepped in front of me with her mouth in a small frown. Her hands pressed together in front of her almost like she was going to pray. “Can I speak with you outside for a moment?”
    Outside? What the hell was this woman’s problem? I stepped forward and squeezed Ani’s too-cold hand before following Beth out the door. She turned on me the moment we were out of Ani’s earshot.
    “Listen, I know that this is a really difficult time for you, but accusing Ani of drinking too much and asking her to rehash everything that happened is not helpful,” she said through pinched lips. “We need to try to empower her, not blame her for her choices.”
    “What?” I said. She sounded like she was reading from a book. What did that even mean?
    “You probably don’t even realize it, and I understand you’re in shock, but you made a victim-blaming statement and I think you need to be careful of what you say to Ani right now,” she said more slowly, like English wasn’t my first language.
    “I’m not blaming her.”
    “Pointing out her alcohol consumption implies she was somehow at fault for what happened. Like she asked to be raped because she was drinking at a party. I’m sure that’s not what you were trying to say, but you just need to be aware that your words mean a lot to her right now.”
    I kicked the wall. I kicked it again. So many emotions were pouring through me and I couldn’t stand this woman telling me I didn’t know how to talk to my girlfriend.
    “Jesus, lady, of course I wasn’t saying she asked for it. All I asked was if she was wasted. That’s my girlfriend in there, who just got out of some sort of surgery because a douche bag left a lighter in her after she’d made out with him. I’m doing the best I can here.”
    She took a step back. “Excuse me?”
    “I am doing the best I can,” I repeated in the same infuriating way she talked to me.
    Her face softened and I thought I might start shaking I was so overwhelmed with everything. She took a step forward but didn’t touch me.
    “Ben, right?” she asked so quietly I barely heard her. I gave a tiny nod. “I’m sorry. This is a difficult time for everyone. Friends and family members often are grieving as much as victims are. I’m not trying to negate your feelings. But if you want to help Ani right now, you need to be open and supportive. I know how painful this must be for you, but we need to make this completely about helping Ani.”
    “Where did you learn to talk like that? I don’t even understand what you’re saying,” I said.
    “I’ll give you some pamphlets and contact information for support groups of partners of survivors before I leave, but please think about what I’m saying. Ani’s confused and overwhelmed right now; you don’t need to add to that.”
    What could I say? Nothing she said made much sense, but she was probably right about Ani being overwhelmed. And it was clear that Beth thought I was being a selfish prick. Even though I’d only asked one question. But didn’t I have a right to be? What the hell had gone down at that party?
    I took several deep breaths. I needed to man up and forget what Kate had told me for a little while so I could be there for Ani.
    “Yeah. Okay. I got it. Just give me a second here.”
    Beth nodded and