Rincewind.
âOh, that means âCome quick, someoneâs fallen down a deep hole,ââ said the kangaroo.
âThat one gets used a lot?â
âYouâd be amazed.â
âAnd . . . whatâs kangaroo for âYou are needed for a quest of the utmost importanceâ?â said Rincewind, with guileful innocence.
âYou know, itâs funny you should ask thatââ
The sandals barely moved. Rincewind rose from them like a man leaving the starting blocks, and when he landed his feet were already making running movements in the air.
After a while the kangaroo came alongside and accompanied him in a series of easy bounds.
âWhy are you running away without even listening to what I have to say?â
âIâve had long experience of being me,â panted Rincewind. âI know whatâs going to happen. Iâmgoing to be dragged into things that shouldnât concern me. And youâre just a hallucination caused by rich food on an empty stomach, so donât you try to stop me!â
âStop you?â said the kangaroo. âWhen youâre heading in the right direction?â
Rincewind tried to slow down, but his method of running was very efficiently based on the idea that stopping was the last thing heâd do. Legs still moving, he ran out over the empty air and plunged into the void.
The kangaroo looked down and, with a certain amount of satisfaction, wrinkled its nose.
âArchchancellor!â
Ridcully awoke, and sat up. The Lecturer in Recent Runes was hurrying up, out of breath.
âThe Bursar and I went for a walk along the beach,â he said. âAnd can you guess where we ended up?â
âIn Kiddling Street, Quirm,â said Ridcully tartly, brushing an exploring beetle off his beard. âThat little bit by the teashop, with the trees in it.â
âThatâs astonishing, Archchancellor. Because, you know, in fact, we didnât . We wound up back here. Weâre on a tiny island. Were you having a rest?â
âA few momentsâ cogitating,â said Ridcully. âAny idea where we are yet, Mister Stibbons?â
Ponder looked up from his notebook. âI wonât be able to work that out precisely until sundown,sir. But I think weâre pretty close to the Rim.â
âAnd I think we found where the Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography has been camping,â said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. He rummaged in a deep pocket. âThere was a camp, and a fireplace. Bamboo furniture and whatnot. Socks on a washing line. And this.â
He pulled out the remains of a small notebook. It was standard UU issue. Ridcully would never let anyone have a new one until theyâd filled up every page on both sides.
âIt was just lying there,â said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. âIâm afraid ants have been eating it.â
Ridcully flicked it open and read the first page. ââSome interesting observations on Mono Island,ââ he said. ââA most singular place.ââ
He flicked through the rest of the book. âJust a list of plants and fishes,â he said. âDoesnât look all that special to me , but then I ainât a geography man. Whyâs he callinâ it Mono Island?â
âIt means One Island,â said Ponder.
âWell, youâve just told me it is one island,â said Ridcully. âAnyway, I can see several more out there. Severe lack of imagination, I suggest.â He tucked the notebook into his robe. âRight, then. No sign of the chap himself?â
âStrangely, no.â
âProbably went swimming and was eaten by a pineapple,â said Ridcully. âHowâs the Librarian doing, Mister Stibbons? Comfortable, is he?â
âYou should know, sir,â said Ponder. âYouâve been sitting on him for three-quarters of an hour.â
Ridcully looked down at the deckchair.