Free Something Worth Saving by Chelsea Landon

It was more or less, “Please, for the love of God, go to sleep!”
    Despite the rocky start, I tend to think they were pretty good kids.
    They’ve taught me things I never thought a child could teach you.
    There are things about Gracie I adore. The way she watches me, mimics everything I do, and when I’m not looking, she’s showing her independence. I love the way she thinks deeply and loves even deeper.
    Jayden is like nothing I’ve ever seen. A little boy to the core, rough but loving, big blue eyes and a smile that covers his entire face. A reminder that his daddy is present in him in every way.
    I wanted to give them a better childhood, with stability and the surety that they wouldn’t have to move around like I did. It’s one reason why I didn’t push Jace into anything, because I thought for sure if I pushed, he’d want to leave me and what would that do to my kids?
    What if he didn’t want to marry me?
    Where would that leave us?
    Given the childhood I had, should this not work out between Jace and me, the idea of waking up in another city again was terrifying.
    I didn’t have the easiest childhood. I’m sure you’ve picked that up by now. The thing was, when I was fifteen and I met Ridley, I didn’t exactly have many friends. We moved around too much for that. So when I met him, I gravitated to him because he was a friend. When most girls called me a slut or fat, or whatever they felt like doing to me, Ridley was there for me. I wasn’t fat, as far as I was concerned. I wasn’t skinny, either. Just because I wore a size nine by no means meant that I was fat. It just meant I wasn’t rail thin like most of the other girls at Borah High School.
    My point here is that at the time, he offered something I didn’t have.
    But that was then. Soon I wised up to my mother’s ways, and Ridley’s, and now I was here, living a different life, questioning the same things, and wondering where it was all leading me.
     
    D ESPITE MY shit attitude that morning and concern for my personal life falling apart, I got out of bed. After sending Jace a text message and not getting a reply, I decided I should just give him some space.
    By ten I was at the shop and well into a morning of arranging displays and training two new cashiers for the weekends here. Neither Shanna nor I really wanted to work every weekend anymore.
    When did I finally hear from my mom that morning? Because you knew that was coming soon after I didn’t return her calls and text messages.
    The first thing she said to me after five years apart?
    “You’re the spitting image of your father.” She was hiding behind dark glasses and an overly large leather jacket she used to keep herself bundled against the crisp Seattle winter. She looked the same: long, thin blonde hair that seemed like hay rather than hair after years of neglect. Leathered skin, tanned beyond what was natural. She was one hot mess.
    Her lips puckered as an unlit cigarette dangled from her lips, plodding restlessly, deciding on her next choice of words to me.
    “Really?” I asked sarcastically, ready to punch my own mom. “I wouldn’t know, would I?”
    She looked at me with droopy eyes and then laughed. “Is that how you welcome me after five years?”
    I nodded slowly, then replied with little politeness in my tone. “Yes. That’s how I welcome you.”
    Shanna came around the corner and stopped, regarding the two of us. “Oh, hey . . . uh . . . ” She motioned behind her. “I got shit to do.” With her head down, she hurried to the back to help customers rummaging through the discontinued scents and leftover wax chunks we sold.
    My gaze turned back to my mother. She looked at me calmly, green eyes that matched mine staring. Restlessly, she turned and paced a little, two steps in one direction, a few in the other, and peered around the shop. “How long have you guys been here?”
    “A while.”
    Georgia’s regard turned back to me. I couldn’t explain the feeling I